Posted by: anonymous
2018-10-23 07:55:16
ID: 57369
I've been married to man A. It was incredibly dysfunctional. Currently married to man B and life is pretty damn great. He loves me and he also loves his work. Those two things aren't mutually exclusive. After being married to a man who had no desire to earn money (any money... he thought that was my purpose), man B is a wonderful change. We both appreciate working hard for everything we have, including each other. I don't need or want flowery bullshit. Show me you're willing to work hard for our life together. That's sexy.
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Posted by: anonymous
2018-10-22 15:40:52
ID: 57368
Which one would I want my daughter to marry, Man A or Man B? Man B. Hands down. Nowhere in there does it say that you have to be dependent on Man B for money, just that you could be. Also, it does say that Man B loves you. DD wouldn't be comfortable being the center of another human being's existence. Who needs that kind of pressure? Not my girl. She'd rather have the freedom of being independent and the resources to pursue her own passions than to be smothered by someone who thinks the moon and sun shine just for her.
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Posted by: anonymous
2018-10-22 14:56:27
ID: 57366
In response to a confession. Stormy- he was allowed to act that way because it wasn't my event. I didn't want to upset DS by starting an argument or causing a scene. I did ask DS, quietly to the side, if his dad was okay. That's when I learned he was hungover. "Seriously?" I asked. He said "Hey, at least he's here." It's just a damn shame. At least my DH was there, awake, and engaged in the party.
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Posted by: anonymous
2018-10-22 14:11:38
ID: 57365
In response to a confession. I figured I’d chime in. Though my answer is probably boring. I married a man A and 10 years later I’m a 30 year old single mom and my ex is barely a step above “deadbeat” and I think that’s solely because his girlfriend wouldn’t accept him as a deadbeat. That being said, I’d NEVER want to be financially dependent on someone else again... even though exh made very little it was enough to scrape by and his career in the army (and my lack of college) made it hard for me to get anything other than minimum wage for a while. I’d be ok with less passion as long as there was love and commitment, but i wouldn’t be ok with poor money management (again) or with being a “kept” woman and unable to take care of myself and ds if I had to. I wouldn’t be able to pick based on the info given, my decision is more than “love vs money”
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Posted by: anonymous
2018-10-22 14:01:46
ID: 57363
i'm currently married to Man A and i regret it.
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Posted by: anonymous
2018-10-22 13:17:17
ID: 57360
I also choose Man B. It's a no-brainer for me. I wouldn't be comfortable with someone fawning over me, but not providing for me. It's my 'acts of service' love language I think. Man A would just leave me eventually resenting him. It wouldn't end well. I'd much rather be with someone who values useful (read: income-producing) deeds than grand love gestures and sweeping romance. After the sweeping romance I'd still be stuck doing all the real work of life.
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Posted by: anonymous
2018-10-22 12:37:02
ID: 57358
OP of the Man A/Man B post. I first saw this question posed by a friend on FB. The women who answered overwhelmingly chose Man B. Their reasoning was that while love is important, marriage is ultimately a business contract between two people and it's better to build this "business" (have kids, invest, save for retirement, etc) with someone who more capital, so to speak. Passion ebbs and flows and is not a solid foundation in which to build a life together. The ones who chose Man A said that it seems like he would be more likely to want to work through things and stick with you when times are tough. It seems that there's a 50/50 split here. There are no wrong answers of course, it's just interesting to see people's different responses.
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Posted by: anonymous
2018-10-21 04:12:14
ID: 57335
I'm pretty upset. Today was DGD's 2nd birthday party and XDH showed up so hungover he slept on the couch for most of the party. FDIL's father couldn't be bothered to come even though he lives fifteen minutes away. It just really pisses me off.
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Posted by: anonymous
2018-10-20 20:20:33
ID: 57336
I'm also going to go with Man B. Sometimes being in a relationship means thinking of things other than their feelings for you. I dated a guy who was nuts about me, but he couldn't hold a steady job, felt like money was something he could spend as freely as he wanted to without thinking of bills, and just in general didn't quite have life figured out yet. I married a guy who has a good job and makes plenty of money, but the reason that is the case is because he is responsible, has a good work ethic, and also happens to be very loyal and has goals. Caveat: I do have a good job myself so if we ever did get divorced I'd be fine, but we happen to have a really great relationship. Besides, maybe Man B just doesn't show love the same way Man A does...sometimes the best way to love someone is to be a steady person in their life and just be reliable.
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Posted by: greensquirrel
2018-10-20 16:38:37
ID: 57334
Man B. I’d take security and comfort over passion. I can be passionate about all sorts of things, like squirrels and cheap white wine, but I don’t really want it in my relationship. I like being in control of my feelings too. I had a red hot teenage first love and it broke me. I have no desire to ever feel like that again
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