PARENTING CHANNEL
Posted by: anonymous
2019-01-01 06:05:24
ID: 58333
Even though it's "my" NYE with ds, his dad asked if he could go with them tonight for a family dinner. Since ds and I have big plans for tomorrow night, I said yes. Dh is away for work and not far from his kids, so he'll be with them tonight. I got off work at 3, came home and saw ds off. I didn't get invited anywhere tonight, not even by my cousins (my family is in another state). So far I've done two loads of laundry, cleared out the cabinet under the kitchen sink, cleaned the kitchen floor and stovetop, cleaned both bathrooms and vacuumed the downstairs. I started washing the walls upstairs but I think I should get to the oven first. And I really want to steam clean the carpets. I haven't been this productive all year. Happy New Year. If I'm still awake, the dog and I will watch the ball drop together.
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Posted by: anonymous
2019-01-01 03:10:50
ID: 58336
In response to a confession. I'm confused here... So some months he is giving her more than half of his money and you are upset why? Just curious, not being snarky.
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Posted by: anonymous
2018-12-31 20:33:38
ID: 58330
In response to a confession. Thank you! I just went there and according to the calculator, he's getting $1147 BAH each month. He's putting between $400 and $600 a month into her account, depending on how much he 'can spare.' What a dick!!
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Posted by: anonymous
2018-12-31 16:05:33
ID: 58327
In response to a confession. Yeah, the housing allowance alone should be enough to make renting an apartment near the base affordable. He’s gotta be pocketing close to $1000 a month. There’s also a military pay calculator she can check out. Idk how accurate it is, but it factors in housing, years of service, and dependents. Google “military pay calculator” and the one I looked at is from a website called Military Benefits. That’ll give her a rough idea too of what he might be making. I hate the idea of spouses getting screwed over by shitty husbands because I know the go to excuse is “that’s just howthe military works” they may not be rolling in money, but the military does make sure you aren’t homeless and can afford things as long as you have a decent grasp on your finances.
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Posted by: anonymous
2018-12-31 15:10:57
ID: 58324
In response to a confession. She must be registered in DEERS. She and the baby have TriCare. I believe he's getting the extra $ for having a wife and child; I also believe he's keeping it. I know when I was a military wife (over 40 years ago!) my ex got an additional $300 a month for being married. Surely it's more than the $400-$600 he's putting into her account now. I'll suggest she find a group where she can ask questions. Thank you SO much for all the info you've shared!!
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Posted by: anonymous
2018-12-31 10:11:07
ID: 58322
In response to a confession. DEERS is the Dendense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System, it’s basically how they keep track of dependents... you need to be enrolled in it to get Tricare or any benefits from the military. If she’s in that then his bosses should arelady know he’s married. Idk the exact details for the other branches, and I was never super involved in the FRG when my ex-husband was active.. but he’d most likely be getting more money for having a family, it would all go to him though (I feel like you saying her “getting her allotment” makes you think the military will pay her directly) with the expectations that he’d use it to take care of his family. You could probably still look up a Facebook page for the base nearest her, or his if you know where he’s stationed, and ask one of the more active wives, sometimes service members are in the groups too, to explain things to you so you have more solid facts to go to your DGD with about what’s bull and what should really be going on.
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Posted by: anonymous
2018-12-30 02:56:12
ID: 58304
In response to a confession. What is DEERS? I'm not in the same state as DGD right now, and I think he's going back to his ship tomorrow (his ship is off the coast of a foreign country). I've explained to her that he won't be broke if she gets her allotment, but who knows what BS he's told her since he's been home? He's in the Navy and the nearest base is six hours away. If she'd just let me, I'd get to the bottom of his BS in a matter of hours! I agree....he sounds shady as hell, but I appreciate any help you can pass my way.
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Posted by: anonymous
2018-12-30 00:37:34
ID: 58302
In response to a confession. Does that mean she isn’t even registered in DEERS? His chain of command should know he’s married if she is registered... wow. Have you tried telling her what you do remember? Or maybe reach out to a local to her marine support page, there’s always something on Facebook... search the base nearest her, and see if there’s any marine wives who can talk to her about what he’s doing... because that all sounds shady as hell.
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Posted by: anonymous
2018-12-28 12:40:17
ID: 58285
In response to a confession. Her DH is serving aboard ship. I'm an ex-Marine wife and I know the steps to getting BAQ allotment. The problem is he BS's my DGD, telling her that if he tells CO he's married with a kid, they'll take $ out of his check and he'll be broke. I know that's not true! He gets additional $; he doesn't have to give part of his regular paycheck to her. He convinced her to get a debit card linked to the Navy (my 'tour of duty' was so Lon ago that I don't know anything about debit cards), and he deposits $200-$300 every two weeks into it. I know he's getting twice that in BAQ allotment! She's just trying not to rock the boat, but my DD and son in law are all in for starting the perfect storm with this guy.
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Posted by: anonymous
2018-12-28 07:05:03
ID: 58283
In response to a confession. She doesn’t even NEED to file, she just has to go to his chain of command and talk to them about how he isn’t contributing, obviously legal documents are the way to go, but for an immediate temporary fix...he needs to support her to an extent and if his chain of command finds out he isn’t they’ll make him fix it quickly. And she just needs to keep going up the chain until they do. As for the living on her own thing... is he in the barracks? She should really call the jag office and set up an appointment for advice... I know you haven’t posted much, but as an ex army wife it sounds like there’s a lot of things wrong about what he’s telling her
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