Posted by: anonymous
2020-06-22 07:56:42
ID: 64682
I'm at my wits end. My brother is divorcing his psycho alcoholic wife and my sweet 11 year old niece has been just... going through it. She's never had much structure, and with quarantine/summertime, her mom moving out, and my brother working constantly, she has zero structure. My brother has begged me to hang out with her, and I do, but here's the problem: I also work full time and only have the weekend for her. We'll make plans for me to pick her up at noon, and when I get there to pick her up, and she's still in bed. Like dead to the world, will not get up, passed out asleep. When this happens, I leave. She'll then text me around 4, saying she's awake now and ready to hang out, and gets sad when I say no. We've had multiple discussions about how it's disrespectful to do this to someone. I've shown her how to set her alarm. We've discussed not going to bed at 3 am. I want to be there for her, but damn, kid! Work with me! I'm not burning my whole Saturday waiting for you to wake up!
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-06-21 18:54:06
ID: 64691
I've been creating a bug-out bag to keep in my car. A few changes of clothes, toiletries, important papers, insurance information, prescription medication, an umbrella, and a few other things. I keep having nightmares about a house fire. I've learned to listen to that little voice. DH doesn't want one for himself, thinks we'd have time to grab stuff on the way out... but what if the house burns down and we're not home? We'll lose our pets AND everything we own. So... I'm going to stick a change of his clothes in with mine. I just hope we never need these bags.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-06-21 00:00:29
ID: 64674
In response to a confession. Well, it was more DH that was doing everything for them and not me. And as it turns out, he's still going to be doing everything for them since he lost his job permanently and won't have to be gone during MIL's knee surgery.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-06-20 06:43:43
ID: 64646
I'm so grateful my boyfriend is patient with me. I have to unlearn so much dysfunction from my 27 year marriage. He's not perfect, but he's willing to communicate and find solutions. That's huge to me! Ex never wanted to communicate. He'd just mumble a few words.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-06-20 06:42:46
ID: 64651
In response to a confession. When you're cf, people say all sorts of snarky, egomaniacal crap to you. I've had people pretend to be shocked that I live in a house. In the *gasp* suburbs, because the suburbs are reserved for families. "I would just think that someone like you would rent an apartment." Because EQUITY, Barbara! Damn!
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-06-18 01:10:22
ID: 64635
I went no contact with my parents years ago. They wouldn't want me as a caregiver, I'd treat them exactly how they treated me. I'm an only child for one parent, the rest of the family is upset that the burden is on them to do the caregiving. It's not though, they can just walk away. You don't have to take care of people who are abusive towards you just because they're family. My other parent, I have an older sibling with. The favorite golden child can deal with it.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-06-17 19:36:50
ID: 64606
In response to a confession. Is it bad that all these confessions make me really glad that my brother lived near my dad in his twilight years and I barely had to do anything? That is, until after he passed. Holy hell, the HOUSE! 50 years worth of absolute shit that had to be dealt with and five siblings.. two of which had serious drug problems and wanted to insist that all his shit needed to be gone through because there were hidden 'treasures' that would be worth money. Delusional. Nightmarish. But at least it wasn't me that got the 3am phone calls from my dad because he was constipated or dropped a jar of pickles and made a broken glass mess. I miss my dad, but at the end, he wasn't himself anymore. I miss how him how he was before he got so feeble and confused and sick.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-06-16 18:16:14
ID: 64619
In response to a confession. You've been running around doing everything for these in-laws, but all of a sudden you're going to put your foot down and not help after your MIL has surgery and is incapacitated? You know she's not going to hire a nurse and have a stranger/s in her house. 100% chance of you ending up doing it.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-06-14 23:04:16
ID: 64600
Don't ever move close to your aging inlaws if you expect that they won't bother the crap out of you whenever they need you to do stuff for them. DH's parents haven't let up since COVID lockdown stuff started--they make us run all their errands, fix things for them (cuz they won't hire someone strange to come into the house), take care of a bunch of landscaping stuff (again, because of strangers) and are just being enormous pains in the ass. Now MIL is having knee replacement surgery while DH is out of town and I'm 100% not going to be her nurse. She can hire someone to come help her.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-06-14 01:02:29
ID: 64585
In response to a confession. HAD to have a hysterectomy due to heavy bleeding? Are you kidding? I had one due to fibroids and adenomyosis, which causes very heavy bleeding. I was 43 when I had it and it was the BEST thing I ever did for myself. I did have a D&C to rule out uterine cancer, and we ultimately decided hysterectomy was the best option. I'm 52 now and have never regretted it.
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