Posted by: anonymous

2018-10-16 20:34:00

ID: 57265

The wedding is at HER HOUSE because too many people bitched about them going to the courthouse like they wanted. For something that is THEIR WEDDING, it sounds like the OP and her family sure have a whole heck of a lot of opinions. Why not just let them do it the way they wanted in the first place?

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Posted by: anonymous

2018-10-16 19:35:00

ID: 57262

I would have liked my mil to go dress shopping with me, but she lives across the country. I asked my mom, and she told me to go by myself.

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Posted by: anonymous

2018-10-16 18:27:25

ID: 57259

OP Here. I really just didn't want her to have to go dress shopping alone if she didn't want to. She's really introverted (like me) and doesn't have some group of girlfriends that will sweep her off to a dress shop. I really am interested in what kind of dress she'll pick out, and, I love her and I want to see her face light up when she tries on 'the dress'. But I'm not going to force myself into the situation. I just told her I'd be there if she wants, and if not that's totally fine. I'm not going to stress over it. It's HER wedding. I want her to do what she wants. I am going to focus on making food and making sure the guests are comfortable. Which, I would be doing anyway. Because it's Thanksgiving and it's what I do when I host, I start planning at least a month out. Because I'm neurotic that way. Pft. Also, your responses did broaden my perspective as to why she might not want me there.

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Posted by: anonymous

2018-10-16 18:10:34

ID: 57258

See, I'm the opposite. I would have hated if my future MIL wanted to go dress shopping with me. Super awkward! Some brides like to go alone, or with their own friends/family. Then again, my MIL is super overbearing and bossy. OP seems way easier to deal with. But I don't think it's wrong NOT to want your future MIL there, either.

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Posted by: anonymous

2018-10-16 17:35:50

ID: 57234

Maybe I read it wrong, but didn't she say the wedding is at HER HOUSE? How the hell is she supposed to mind her own business when, I'm willing to bet, 90% of the heavy lifting will be left to her. This whole shindig is falling on her shoulders and if it sucks, she'll be blamed for it. And mil and dil relationships can be tricky. I would have loved for my mil to have gone dress shopping with me. Who knows? Had she not offered, 10 years from now, her fdil could say, "You didn't even OFFER to go dress shopping with me."

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Posted by: TheDevilsSmile

2018-10-16 03:09:30

ID: 57248

I am so angry right now. xh took ds on Saturday for a sleepover. Sunday he asks if he could keep ds until Monday morning and my exact words were "I wasn't planning on it, but if (ds) is ok with it then I am too" DS just told me that he told xh yesterday that he didn't want to spend another night and xh said no, you don't go back to mom's until tomorrow. I mean, ds did end up having fun and isn't traumatized or anything, but I'm so pissed that he would do this. I told ds that next time he and I would decide how much time he spends with xh and I'd let xh know, and if he asks to keep ds longer I will speak to ds myself because he obviously can't be trusted to ask and listen to what ds wants. I have full custody and he's unreliable, at best, when it comes to when he wants to see ds. I was just agreeing any time he asked because its usually a few hours once a month.

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Posted by: anonymous

2018-10-15 12:52:35

ID: 57242

You're totally right about that. But, I think it will all work out. I wanted to go dress shopping with future DIL, kind of because her mom died when she was young. I also really want to see what she'll pick. She's got really unique style. DH is annoyed that my XDH and his parents are going to come to our house for Thanksgiving (which is normal, I think), but he gets it. The main thing I really need to know is just how many people are going to be there. So I can plan the food. Which, TBH, I would be doing anyway for the holiday. Also, later, future DIL did call me and say maybe she would like me to be there when she dress shops. I just told her I will be there if she wants, but if not that's totally okay. Even though it did make me sad she wanted to do it alone, I didn't TELL her that! I mean, I'm not a monster!

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Posted by: anonymous

2018-10-14 17:14:23

ID: 57229

Maybe all of this drama is why they wanted a courthouse wedding in the first place.

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Posted by: anonymous

2018-10-14 00:05:18

ID: 57212

I hope you don't take offense at your future DIL not wanting your help with her wedding dress. I know you mean well, but when I was picking out my wedding dress, I really wouldn't have wanted my future MIL there. I don't know what the situation is with her mom and with what she wants for a dress, but maybe you can plan the flowers and stuff and let the dress be her thing.

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Posted by: TheDevilsSmile

2018-10-13 00:07:11

ID: 57207

3ish months ago I posted this because ds hurt my feelings. Since then we have moved back to the state xh lives in (we lived here once too) and ds has really shown me what he thinks of his dad. Any time he is given the choice between seeing xh and doing something with the rest of the family (I’m actually staying with xh’s biomom) he picks the rest of the family. He asked to not see his dad today because he wanted to stay home and be lazy with me, he said he feels he hasn’t spent any time with me. I broke my shoulder and he had to sleep in nephews room from 10/1 to last night. We’re currently both doing our own thing, but he has made sure some body part of his has been touching me all day. This is exactly why I have never badmouthed his dad, I knew that eventually he would see xh for what he really is and it feels so.damn.good. to know he’s coming to this decision all on his own.

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