Posted by: anonymous
2018-01-01 21:05:08
ID: 52467
In response to a confession. He's not really a jerk, just really ignorant and he has really, really homophobic parents. He's come a long way from the crap he was taught growing up, but he still doesn't understand a lot about anyone who has a different sexual preference than he does. He's learning. I just sometimes marvel at the amount of weird shit his parents drilled into his head when he was a kid, that's all.
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Posted by: anonymous
2018-01-01 19:39:59
ID: 52463
I'm beating myself up a little lately thinking about how my exdh and I probably didn't set our son up for a more successful future. We both thought we were doing our best, but now looking back I think we could have done a better job. These thoughts are probably completely unreasonable and coming from a place of depression within my own troubled mind, but it's been haunting me lately seeing him struggling at this period of his life. He'll make it because he appears to be strong and resilient, but as a mother I worry about him.
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Posted by: anonymous
2018-01-01 19:10:43
ID: 52462
In response to a confession. This will be my last comment on this subject. I'm the original OP and telling a 14-year-old kid what my parents would have done was NOT passive-aggressive. I, like those who came before me, was hoping my words would point out that he was being rude AND HE'D STOP. I appreciate those who said they wouldn't allow an electronic device at the table in the first place, but shake my head at those who said they'd be proud of their kid in this situation. The kid has been a brat his whole life and his Dad had already told the kids to put the iPad and phones down. I'm don't need to justify my actions. You weren't there.
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Posted by: anonymous
2017-12-31 23:04:19
ID: 52281
In response to a confession. Your DH sounds like a mix between a jerk and an idiot. Hair and clothing don't make a person gay. And why are you guys sexualizing a child anyway? She's 9. She can dress however she wants. And based on my experience with children (nieces, nephews, children of friends) 9 is plenty old enough to say no to dressing in ways they don't want to, so she probably enjoys being a tomboy.
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Posted by: anonymous
2017-12-31 22:45:22
ID: 52446
I know I don't have kids myself, but I hate when people act like I have zero clue about anything just because I don't have kids myself. That doesn't mean I lack total common sense. My sister lets her 9 yo son, who has been banned from every daycare in the city because he physically assaults the teachers, stay home alone and play "mature" rated video games after school. I am pretty sure that's a shitty parenting decision, but hell, what do I know? "You don't have kids; you don't understand how hard parenting is!" Maybe not, but I do know that my nephew has issues that really need to be dealt with and my sister is pretty much ignoring them.
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Posted by: hanginin
2017-12-31 19:25:30
ID: 52440
Here's my take on this: First off, make it a goal to raise your kids in a way that no one will have a reason to blather on about "If that had been MY kid.." or "If I'd have done that when 'I' was a kid.." And bingo, bango- problem solved. Barring that, those phrases are most definitely passive aggressive digs at someone's parenting. To suggest otherwise is ridiculous. For a child to respond with "Try it and I'll call the cops!" is disrespectful and bratty. If the child's behavior warranted a comment, then you (as a parent) should address the behavior (and if it were me, address the passive aggressive comment-maker because comments like that are NOT okay). If not, then you (as a parent) should defend your child in a respectful way. This shows your child that you're not going to leave him swinging in the wind when an adult gets out of line. Also shows him that not ALL adults are right all the time. That's important for a child to know, to keep himself safe.
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Posted by: anonymous
2017-12-31 04:55:48
ID: 52422
In response to a confession. I see it as him standing up for himself. Tone is everything and all the times I have heard someone say “I’d I had done that...” it was in a tone that hinted to the things I mentioned in my previous response. My dad said it all the time to other people’s kids when I was younger and i know he was trying to tell the parent to smack the kid so they’d get in line. And my brother said it in my presence once and I felt like he was about to try to discipline my 2yo. There are better ways to point out that someone’s kid is being rude, I think that phrase is one of the ruder ways to do so... and given my history I would find it threatening. So if you’re gonna threaten my kid I’m going to let him defend himself. But, I didn’t hear your tone in the situation you described... I’m not trying to say that’s how you sounded. And I also don’t allow electronics at meals so it probably wouldn’t have gotten that far if I were a parent in that situation.
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Posted by: anonymous
2017-12-30 16:58:10
ID: 52415
In response to a confession. OP here...I wasn't the least passive aggressive (by the way, overuse of that phrase is a pet peeve of mine). I was relating to the kid, and more importantly, his parents, that disrespect is ugly. No threat, real or implied, was involved. I was taught to respect my elders and his comment only proved that when kids are molly-coddled and allowed to do anything they want, his attitude is the outcome. Being proud of your kid for disrespecting others is a bit sad in my opinion. But that's just my opinion.
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Posted by: anonymous
2017-12-30 04:26:16
ID: 52408
In response to a confession. It’s a huge peeve of mine when I hear someone say “if I acted like that my mom/dad/whoever would have (insert beating of some kind) me...” I feel like it’s a passive aggressive dig at the way I handle my kid or possibly that person hinting that they want to hit my child. So I probably would have been proud of my kid if he had said “try it and I’ll call the cops” but i also would have been on his ass if he had been that sassy or took his tablet to a meal.
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Posted by: anonymous
2017-12-29 14:13:57
ID: 52397
My grandmother has been readmitted to the hospital after being in it for a week due to heart issues. My daughter was in a car accident and broke her arm, we are trying to sell our house and buy a new one. Work is stressful too. I have reached my limit. I know I have to be strong and all, but its really hard today.
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