I'm the OP. Of course the situation is insanely frustrating. I started therapy to help get my feelings sorted out. On one level, I still do have feelings for him, but the way he is acting is driving me nuts. He claims that it's because he hates his job so much and if he didn't have that job, he would be so much more ambitious. Plus, I sort of feel like I owe him something because he offered to pay for my school. And the dog and cat didn't die while I was gone, but he didn't give them water or give them any food, so they were damn hungry. So I don't know how he thinks he would be able to get up every day at 5am to milk a herd of goats. Sorry to bitch about it, but due to how my school is set up, I won't be in a position to leave for at least a few months. I think on some level, I still think I can "fix things". My therapist is awesome and is helping me realize I'll never be able to force him to grow up.