When I was still with my exH, we'd had problems for years, mostly because of his Narcissistic abuse. I fell out of love with him, but I was the only one trying to actually work on our marriage. I finally gave up and tried to leave, he threatened me if I did. He said I'd never see our child again, convinced me that he would get full custody since I was just SAHM. I stayed, but I was so unhappy I ended up depressed. I sought the company over another man.No sex, but I we did kiss and I did touch him, we mostly talked. I eventually was able to leave my ex a year later, with my child. For years, he acted like I was still his, even when I got a new bf. It's no excuse, but my cheating was my getaway from the abuse. It was nice to feel wanted, given attention, and made me still feel sexy. Knowing I was still desirable sparked something in me to work harder to leave my ex since he killed my self-esteem. He has nothing to do with me or our child.