I have been staying out this fight, mostly because I agree somewhat with both sides. The OP could use support and empathy, but I think she also needs honest feedback. But this: " she's repeatedly said THAT SHE'S FUCKING LEAVING HIM" stood out to me. This OP has posted before, and she has said that she is leaving him, and she doesn't. She finds a way to excuse his behavior, and stays with him until she can't stand it again. I guess I could be wrong and it is a different person than the past, but the writing styles are so similar I really believe that this not the first time (nor the first year) that OP says she is leaving. So encouragement, and maybe a kick in the pants, could be in order here.