Posted by: anonymous

2018-12-10 14:01:17

ID: 58014

We've agreed to go downstate to visit DH's relatives for Christmas. We haven't done this since his mom moved out of state. She used to host a big Christmas party every year and when she moved, his aunt & uncle took over hosting the party. We haven't attended one yet. I know it's important and we'll have a good time. My confession is I don't want to go. At all. I want to stay home and spend Christmas with my DS, DIL, DGD, and my DD. I know they'll have a great time without me, they'll go visit their dad (XDH), and DIL's family. I just hate the thought of not being with them. I hate it. I'll muscle through and keep a smile on my face, but I do NOT want to go downstate. There I said it. To someone at least.

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Posted by: anonymous

2018-12-10 13:38:53

ID: 57969

First, I commend you for quitting! It's hard! I didn't start smoking until my late 20s (STUPID!) because my then-dh and his entire family did. It was literally the first thing he did in the morning before even getting out of bed, and the last thing he did at night while IN bed. Maybe my body craved it from being around it? I don't know, but one day I picked up a cigarette and never stopped. I also lied about it when he caught me - again and again. The only time I was able to stop was when I was pregnant. I didn't think I was addicted until my car broke down and I was walking 3 miles round trip in the snow to get cigarettes. I wish I could stop, but my life pretty much sucks and it's all I have to take the stress off. I know that sounds dumb but it's the truth. I don't do drugs or even drink outside of social situations. There's an app called Stop Smoking in Two Hours. Maybe try that. I have it installed but....

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Posted by: anonymous

2018-12-10 13:38:17

ID: 57968

"I said he probably felt victimized, and with the way you lash out, he probably did." That came after she said she was abused and it's a dick thing to say to anyone, let alone an abuse victim who just confessed to having been given a sexually transmitted disease. You also said he should have left if he was unhappy. Sweetie, I counsel abuse victims everyday. Clearly, her ex's form of expressing "unhappiness" was cheating and abuse, and anyone with an ounce of knowledge about abusers knows that THEY DON'T LEAVE. But sure, okay. You're just the pinnacle of reason and kindness. GTFO with your bullshit. Go be nasty to people somewhere else. I'm also of the school of thought that you're the cheater and just spewing hate at someone who criticised you.

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Posted by: anonymous

2018-12-10 13:36:28

ID: 57984

Oooh, the shopping cart argument! I'd forgotten all about that one! That got surprisingly ugly.

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Posted by: anonymous

2018-12-09 23:34:53

ID: 57993

I've tried to find a divorce support group in my area (the meet ups around here rarely meet or it's a legal seminar only). The only one I could find is DivorceCare and wow was it religious! There was a whole presentation about having sex once you are divorced but not remarried is a sin. Thanks! That helped so much! I'm doing individual therapy but was hoping to rotate in some free or less expensive support. Not that one. Yikes. I want to avoid the night where the whole subject is sex. No thanks!

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Posted by: anonymous

2018-12-09 23:28:15

ID: 57894

It doesn't bother me at all if someone confesses to cheating and is remorseful. What bothers me is when someone smugly posts about screwing someone, and then going home and screwing their spouse like they're proud of it. My ex-dh cheated on me too and stuff like that triggers me. I'm human. Shoot me.

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Posted by: anonymous

2018-12-09 23:26:00

ID: 57952

My husband is away a lot for work, often missing important things and even certain holidays. I like to brighten his day by sending a card and sometimes a care package to his hotel. So, it was his birthday last week and I sent a box with gifts, cards and goodies. Tracking showed it was delivered the day before his birthday, but the hotel staff said they didn't have it. He asked every day for 3 days. I was about to file a lost package complaint when he called to say they found it in the back office. Whoever got it didn't tell the other staff BUT they had left a message on his room phone.Yes, his message light was blinking for those three days, but he thought it was from when his coworker called so he didn't check the messages. Idiot. Worse, he spent the entire phone call bitching about the hotel staff and didn't even say thank you!!!

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Posted by: anonymous

2018-12-09 23:17:57

ID: 57976

Also, I don't see anything wrong with people calling the cheating op out for her behavior. I'm willing to bet, deep down, that's why she posted here. Sometimes you need to be put in check by your peers. Do you think I let my patients get away with this sort of behavior? Heck no! I would be doing them a huge disservice by coddling destructive behavior, like cheating. Compassion is always vital when you're trying to get to the root of the problem, but sometimes you have to be firm with people to help them understand how they're hurting others, as well as themselves. You might be feeding the cheater's ego by defending them, but don't fool yourself-- you aren't helping them.

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Posted by: anonymous

2018-12-09 23:15:53

ID: 58002

It's so hard for me to figure out if the guy I'm dating is lying about things. I'm insecure about a lot of things because of what ex dh has done to me over the years. I always believe all men are lying, cheating creeps.

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Posted by: anonymous

2018-12-09 22:47:44

ID: 58006

I used to have so many friends it was crazy. My social calendar was full. It would take half of Saturday to catch up with everyone via phone, text and IM. So much has changed. I had to end some friendships due to toxic behavior (I can't deal with high-schoolish drama in my 40s!). A lot of friends moved to different time zones and we just can't coordinate. I deactivated my FB and it seems that no one is interested in communicating outside of that. It doesn't help that dh travels constantly for work and is also often in different time zones. I'm so lonely. I haven't spoken to anyone in months and months.

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