I would say your marriage is different because sure, lots of men are slobs and may not clean the house, but there's not many out there that would actually forget to feed the pets, or sleep the whole day away when given the chance. I understand wanting to stay with him regardless of his issues, but you've also said that he talks down to you and is controlling. Those are deal breakers imo. And it seems like you make alot of excuses for him. I'm going to guess that your family/friends don't like him either.