Posted by: anonymous

2019-08-11 03:17:21

ID: 61363

Also, I really love my MIL. I would really miss her if we divorced. I know getting divorced doesn't mean we wouldn't see each other any more, but let's be real, it wouldn't be the same.

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Posted by: anonymous

2019-08-11 03:15:54

ID: 61362

I'm married. My DH is a good guy. I can't say that I'm blissfully happy, but I'm not miserable either. But I do feel like it's more of a partnership than a marriage. He does help with the house and the kids and the bills. I will say that he is a good partner. And he's always got my back.But I'm not butterflies and in love anymore. But sometimes there are glimpses of that. And sometimes I can't stand being married. But I don't think I'd be happier single than I am married to him. Not yet. But if the day comes that I do feel that way, I'll leave.

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Posted by: anonymous

2019-08-11 00:30:39

ID: 61354

I think I can see both sides to the marriage thing. I did make some serious vows when I got married but so did my DH. Sometimes, a person does things that make you a really bad version of yourself. And if that's the case, you aren't being fair to yourself or the other person by staying married. My good friend got divorced because she was sick of being married. Her DH was a good guy, but had stopped attending to her emotional needs and she asked for a divorce. I think marriage is highly overrated for women because more often than not, we get the short end of the stick in the relationship. Too many men out there don't like a spouse who earns more than them, is smarter than they are, or who won't wait on them hand and foot. Until men change and get better, they better get used to the good women out there leaving them to live their best lives.

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Posted by: anonymous

2019-08-09 22:34:37

ID: 61334

i had a cousin who didn't believe in divorce. her husband ended up turning into an abusive asshole and she became very withdrawn and depressed. we tried for years to get her to leave but she was religious and didn't wanna "break her vows". she was diagnosed with cancer, chose not to treat it, and passed away 3 years later. we 100% believe that she deliberately skipped treatment as a way out (til death do you part). if you're unhappy in your marriage for ANY reason, get the damn divorce. fuck what anyone says or thinks. life is too short.

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Posted by: anonymous

2019-08-09 21:56:39

ID: 61206

Me telling my personal experience was not directed at you. I'm just posting about my own life. You might have started this subject but several people have posted about their own experiences. That's what this site is about. Everything isn't about you.

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Posted by: anonymous

2019-08-09 21:52:52

ID: 61325

There are so many pluses these days to NOT being married. A spouse who is dirty, expects to be waited on, screams filth at his wife, humiliates the other in private and public, is a lousy parent, doesn't work or help the other - why would anyone benefit by being married to such a person? #ilovedivorce

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Posted by: anonymous

2019-08-09 18:06:24

ID: 61329

Right. I didn't get married thinking, "If it doesn't work out, we can just get divorced." I was in it for the long haul, and because of that, I spent many years being miserable with my first husband. Once we got married, everything stopped. He would no longer cook, clean or do laundry. No more picnics by the lake, dinners in the city, days at the beach, concerts or ballgames. No more flowers or cards, no celebrating special occasions. He had no time for me - just work, eat, watch tv, sleep, repeat. We had a long talk about this. I suggested counseling. "I'm not going to sit there and listen to someone telling me I'm wrong about everything." I suggested a trial separation. "I'm not sitting here while my wife goes out gallivanting with other men, trying to decide if she wants to be with me or not." After a year of crying myself to sleep, I pulled the plug. And he cried, saying he had no idea I was this unhappy. Wtf dude

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Posted by: anonymous

2019-08-09 11:16:29

ID: 61321

Life is too short to stay married to someone you don't want to be married to. Be sure about it, yes. But if you're sure, then change your situation. Get a divorce. Remember that you're also giving your spouse the opportunity to find someone that truly wants to be with them. No guilt.

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Posted by: anonymous

2019-08-09 08:17:18

ID: 61285

"If there are problems, you work on them" doesn't help if only one person in the marriage works on the problems. Often the other person won't even admit there IS a problem. That's when you need to give it your best shot and get out if you have to. Marriage isn't for life anymore and thank God for divorce. You get one life and it doesn't have to be miserable.

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Posted by: anonymous

2019-08-09 08:00:26

ID: 61292

I've been a marriage counselor for almost twenty years. Sometimes, actually, surprisingly often, people just don't want to be married anymore. They fall out of love. They fall in love with someone else. They want Independence. They just don't want to be married anymore. And it's okay. It's normal. More people should have the courage to live authentically. Not saying it's an easy situation to navigate, but wanting someone to stay with you when they don't want to stay with you is nothing more than a desperate desire to not be alone. And falling back on "but the Bible says" or "you made a VOW" is nonsense. Those are not good reasons to keep someone bound to you.

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