Posted by: anonymous
2020-02-02 03:21:47
ID: 63093
It's been 10 years since our separation and 8 years since our divorce was finalized. I've dated off and on and spent plenty of time alone, and had 1 LTR since, but it just sucks so bad to still be deeply in love with him. I know that it's possible to find love again, and I'll never let go of that hope. But the pain of losing him is still very raw and cuts deep. It's no longer constant or even daily, but it can resurface at any time. I suppose some people never really do experience love, so I feel very fortunate that I have.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-02-02 00:52:03
ID: 63089
So my DH is finally starting to give a shit about his health. He hasn't been able to finish in bed for a while and he knows he eats like crap. I started cooking healthier things for him to eat and he is actually eating them, which is surprising to me because he normally turns his nose up at veggies. His grandpa died of a heart attack at 50 and DH turns 40 this year, so I think he's finally taking it seriously. I just wonder how long it'll last.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-02-01 00:05:16
ID: 63078
In response to a confession. I'm sorry for you too. The thing is that he usually doesn't start drinking until late at night. He'll maybe have one or two during the day on weekends though. He usually drinks by himself when everyone goes o bed. I think he knows how much he drinks isn't normal, so he is doesn't want the judgement of people seeing him drink. He'll have a drink when out to dinner and such, but won't usually start his real drinking until there's no one around. This changes when he's with his dad, who is also an alcoholic. Because then someone else drinking as much as him, so it normalizes it. Luckily we don't see him often. He is very successful and does well at his job which he's had forever. That's the functional part. I would give him an ultimatum but there's no way I could afford to live anywhere in this school zone even with my good job, and I'm not moving my kids while they are in high school. It would devastate them. All bets are off after they graduate though.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-01-31 23:50:59
ID: 63077
My husband has chosen crack, and his "friend" that also uses, instead of his marriage. I am heartbroken. He made it abundantly clear tonight that he's going to "help" (enable) this guy... and I can't do this anymore. I just can't.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-01-31 23:36:17
ID: 63075
In response to a confession. I'm so sorry you're going through this. You're not alone - DH is like this, too. He went to an amusement park with us one time, went on one ride and decided he was done. He spent the rest of the day sitting in various bars around the park. We went Christmas shopping together, but then he decided he didn't want to walk around. Again, spent the several hours that DS and I were shopping sitting in a restaurant bar in the mall. He was wasted by the time we joined him. He spent all of his days off sitting on the couch, drinking beer and whiskey. He even got smashed when we were out w/ his friends and became verbally abusive to me. I've told him I will leave if he doesn't get it under control, but he won't stop. He's just incapable of NOT drinking. This only started a few years ago.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-01-31 16:29:38
ID: 63069
In response to a confession. And this morning there was a fresh bottle of Scotch in the liquor cabinet. Well, minus what he drank last night. He drinks after I go to bed, like I don't know that's what he's doing. Maybe him trying to not drink and failing miserably will be enough for him to finally admit he needs help. The thing is, he's got to already know that. I would think anyone would know that hiding alcohol, drinking by yourself, etc. are not normal.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-01-30 19:36:06
ID: 63064
I posted a while back about DH being a functioning alcoholic but becoming less functional. It's the elephant in the room. He knows it's a problem. I noticed that he didn't drink on Monday. Like finished his usual bottle of Scotch over the weekend and didn't replace it like always. Didn't drink Tuesday (he drinks every night). I was really happy but didn't say anything because he doesn't like to talk about it. But I was happy that he was doing something. It's Thursday morning and I checked the liquor cabinet to see if he drank Weds. night. Half a bottle of gin that's been in there for years is gone. He must have drank it after I went to bed. He couldn't even make it 3 friggin' days. He needs help. But he'll never admit that. He'll keep claiming he can quit if he wants, even though he knows damn well that's not true. He'll just say he enjoys a drink. He won't admit that he's an alcoholic.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-01-29 19:43:17
ID: 63054
All these women talking about their crappy husbands takes me back. I was in a terrible marriage and felt stuck. At one point I just figured I'll just go through the motions and keep living depressed. It took 5 years to leave, but one day I just couldn't take it anymore and got the courage to tell him it's over. He made life VERY hard for the next 7yrs (and still does because we have a child together). I struggled, but I was happy to be away from him. I ended up meeting my current husband and couldn't be happier. Every day I thank my lucky stars I have him. There is hope for all of you who are in unhappy marriages. You don't have to live like that. It may take time, most people just can't up and takes planning. You can do it. I believe in you all, you can find happiness again. The struggle is worth it.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-01-28 14:38:17
ID: 63044
In response to a confession. Print out all of the statements for every joint account, credit card, etc. you have. If he empties them out, in many states, that will be held against him, and he will have to pay you the money back and then some. I would also strongly urge you to talk to and retain a lawyer before you talk to your DH. They will tell you exactly what to do.
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Posted by: Stormyweather
2020-01-28 02:27:49
ID: 63038
In response to a confession. Make sure you have all of your ducks in a row before you tell him. Don't trust that he will behave rationally. Have your money and belongings safe and a place to go. Also, try to keep some leverage so when he starts trying to make things difficult, you have something on him that he needs. Bargaining chips. I help my ex-husband's business and tax papers hostage until he gave me what I wanted. He did because otherwise I would have left a pile of ashes on his porch.
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