People have motives for lying. I lied to my ex husband about quitting smoking. I often smoked behind his back, because quitting for me was a bitch and he had the temperament of an angry ten year old and it would have led to me being screamed at and being emotional blackmailed. Fuck yeah, he was part of the problem. I lied to him out of fear. Relationships are complicated. For those of y'all who live in black and white worlds, more power to ya. I live in reality, where shit is messy. Sidenote: now that I'm remarried to a man who properly communicates, I've quit smoking. He knew about every relapse, and will know if I start again in the future. If your spouse won't talk to you about something, there's likely some fear there, and you probably play a role in that. Just because that doesn't fit your narrative, doesn't mean it isn't true. If there's one thing I took away from marriage counseling, it was to own your part in the relationship.