He lied to her for a YEAR about something that was very important to her. That wasn't just one lie, it was compounded every day. If he lied about that, what else did he lie about? She's not torturing him to get back at him, she's trying to decide if it's worth saving the marriage after realizing that she's married to a deceitful man. Her resolution could very well be to divorce him, and I wouldn't blame her. My DH quit smoking shortly after we got together. I made it very clear I will NOT be with a smoker. Period. If he chooses to smoke, then HE is choosing to end the relationship. In this case, her DH chose to lie. If she decides she doesn't want to be married to a serial liar... why blame her? HE is the liar.