You don't have to explain yourself to this asshole. Yes, I'm going with ONE asshole, maybe two, despite the multiple fake me toos and omgs. Anyone who has been there understands what you're going through. I wish you nothing but love and strength, and I know that the other emotionally well-adjusted women here feel the same. If anything, feel good that you don't have to troll an abused woman on the internet to get your rocks off.