RELATIONSHIPS CHANNEL
Posted by: anonymous
2020-11-08 01:14:30
ID: 65850
We have a system that if a purchase comes from our non-joint checking accounts, the other person doesn't question it. It keeps us from fighting about things we want to buy for "fun". DH bought his scissors lift from his money and I bought the elliptical from mine. I showed him the elliptical and he actually said it's really nice and it's probably good I bought a good one. It's going to last a long time and I'll definitely get my use out of it. I think it's just hard for DH because he grew up poor so he has a hard time spending money and thinks I should too.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-11-02 19:47:22
ID: 65816
In response to a confession. I can see both of your points. If his paycheck is unsteady and pays for the majority of your bills, then it probably isn't the best time to buy something expensive. On the other hand, if you have a huge savings account (and it sounds like you do), then buying something that keeps you out of the gym during cold months during covid makes a heck of a lot of sense. It sounds like maybe you too need to sit down and reevaluate your financials together until your DH has a steady income. Did he talk to you about buying the scissor lift before he plunked down the money? Did you talk to him about the elliptical before purchasing? If you two are sharing expenses, then communicating and agreeing on what makes sense to buy now is pretty key.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-10-31 23:04:17
ID: 65798
I'm so pissed at my DH. I told him that I bought myself a nice elliptical machine (trust me, it's a good investment because I use it) and he bought himself a scissors lift a while ago that cost about the same. He got all mad because "you can't pay all our bills with just your income so you shouldn't buy anything expensive for yourself". He is working contract gigs right now so his income is spotty but I have our health insurance, I bank like 40% of my salary for savings, and I buy all our food and household items and our electric bill. Plus, I'm getting a huge bonus in January from work and DH is insisting I stop buying things. WTF. I would understand if we had money troubles, but we save more than half of what we earn every month. He is SUCH a dick when it comes to money.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-10-28 13:49:49
ID: 65774
In response to a confession. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Do you think you could record your DH when he's being a drunk ass and so him / talk to him about it while he's sober? Maybe actually seeing and hearing it will make him realize what a problem it is.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-10-25 21:56:43
ID: 65750
I wish I weren't so bad at interacting with people. I really just do not care much about forming friendships or anything....I don't think I ever did, really. I was always a bookish, nerdy kid who preferred books to people. I just hate that so many extroverts in my life like to make me feel shitty about this.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-10-25 18:21:05
ID: 65745
2/2: Several years ago H made another coworker friend. They work away from home for weeks/months and spent all their free time at bars. It's from hanging out with this guy that started H on the heavy drinking - that's when the majority of our problems started. I've had a hell of a time with jobs since last year. Lost my job, didn't get the one I applied for, worked a shit job until I DID get that job, it was rescinded due to COVID, while also dealing with other stuff. So H has carried a lot (but not all) of the bills. Yet this asshole has convinced H that I'm "mooching" off of him - bc that's what THIS guy's now-ex-wife did to him while also cheating. That's why H thinks I'm "ungrateful" when he KNOWS I'm not. I just got a great FT job so they can all fuck right off!
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-10-25 18:20:56
ID: 65744
1/2: H has a new coworker friend. The guy's an alcoholic, just like H. This friend has been coming over on weekends, they go out to eat/drink, then H comes home wasted and gets verbally abusive. He doesn't remember the things he's said the next day. Last wknd I asked him not to drink too much and he promised he wouldn't. Of course he broke that promise. Brought food I'd said I didn't want, then screamed that I'm ungrateful. So he's working 2 hours from home, and was supposed to come home at noon today (Sunday) to hang out with us and do laundry, then he'd head back to his hotel around 7. At 2pm I get a text that he stopped at CW's and they're out eating and asked if I wanted him to bring anything. I said no thank you. Response? "Good, because I was going to stop at (candy store) and get you chocolate - but I know you don't like that." Baiting me to ask for chocolate so his drunk ass can come home and say I don't appreciate the things he gets me.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-10-20 21:25:37
ID: 65720
I pretty much stopped cooking recently in protest. He's always asking whats for dinner, I tell him whatever he cooks. The amount of take out we've been eating is insane.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-10-19 22:33:28
ID: 65714
DH and I went to WalMart. I had a list. Chapstick, silk flowers, 3M hangers, a block of cheddar cheese, bread, and rotisserie chicken. The bill was $58. Yeah, cashews (whole, not the pieces, ffs!), licorice (red AND black) 3 bags of Halloween candy (we live in a 55+ community and have NEVER had trick-or-treaters), and a box of donuts. Next time I’m going alone.
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Posted by: anonymous
2020-10-19 07:18:58
ID: 65708
In response to a confession. F*** all these husbands. For real. They can act right or get the hell out.
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