I'm one of those OPs. I wish I could have found a happy medium. My first husband was at the other end of the spectrum, and like your DH. He himself made 130K and paid all the bills except health and life insurance, which was covered by my job. When we bought our house, it was 8 months before he'd pay for window coverings. Family gave us curtains and tension rods, and also whatever furniture they didn't need. It was literally more than 2 years before he'd spring for furniture. Christmas? I was lucky if he spent $100 on me. The worst was when he wouldn't give me the food money a day early, when a blizzard was coming. He insisted we'd be able to get the store in his truck. Well all the stores were closed except a small convenience store which was out of everything. We ate canned chili for 2 days in our big, unfurnished house. No more relationships for me after this one, as I apparently attract abusive losers.