"My kids were my only hope, and they didn't do what I wanted them to do!" Umm, let me say this real loud. You should NOT BE HAVING KIDS TO SAVE ANYTHING ABOUT YOU. You should not be depending on your kids to take care of you when you're old, to be something you wanted to be but couldn't, or to save face. Raise your kids to be their own person and not to need any other person to complete them. Do that. And be fucking proud of them when they can do life on their own.