My DH will not let me forget my "incident" last year to save my life. He thinks it's a funny break the ice story. I spend most of my energy controlling my anxiety and debilitating panic attacks. He talked me into going bar hopping with some "friends" last year, which I knew was a mistake, but I was trying to get out of my box. Drank exactly 1 drink too many and completely lost control. Cue 4 hour panic attack in which I couldn't breathe, couldn't see, and couldn't function. Ruined DH's night out, embarrassed myself, and gave them all a story to tell at my expense. He doesn't understand how embarrassing that was for me or how humiliating it is to have it brought up over and over again. I can't even bring myself to try to make new friends because know he's going to tell them and I can't live with what I know they will think. I want to shut myself in the house and never leave.