I've never been a cheater, but my marriage is awful and I've been fantasizing about reaching out to my first love. He is single and lives across the country. My dh pretty much ignores me, minus small talk about what is for dinner and the kids, etc. Yes, I'm planning on a divorce but I'm looking for a fulltime job now and need to save money, find a place, get a lawyer and all that. So it will take some time. I'm just so lonely now, and have been for awhile. I just want someone to talk to who will listen to me and engage in a decent conversation. I've tried to work it out with dh before. Plus recently my mother died and dh has not been there for me at all. It's awful.