I don't know where to post this confession. My kids are grown. I'm just depressed. I can't find joy in anything. I had a hysterectomy Oct 1st. My doctor put me off work until 11/12. I'm ok being at home and dread going back to work. My boyfriend thinks if I go back to work my mental health will be better. So many things on my mind. I don't know what to do. All I want to do is run away. I'm on antidepressants, but they don't seem to be working. My mom just found out she has breast cancer. I'm going through a divorce after 28 of marriage. We've been separated since 8/17. I live 30 minutes to an hour away from my loved ones. I'm just tired.

I'm so mentally exhausted from worrying about and trying to tell the difference between drunk H and sober H. Not that he seems to be home and sober at the same time, ever. He's missing out on so much bc he barely remembers anything the next day. I get he's got chronic pain, but there has to be a better way to fix it. I've never had anyone around me deal with alcoholism before and I'm afraid to approach him because I don't want him to think I'm judging him. I just wish he would wake up and realize he needs to quit. The kids notice more than he thinks they do as well.

Since we're all posting our confusion with right wing viewpoints, here's mine. Trump is well known for being loved among working class voters. It's actually impressive (in a diabolical way) how working class people have been hoodwinked into basically voting against their interests. Not just with Trump, but in recent history and throughout the world, a lot of the working class have become really right wing. It's really amazing to me how a tax cheating billionaire who inherited his fortune has become so popular amongst people who have little money, and so many have absorbed this "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality when they *know* how difficult it is to live with little or no money to spare. I guess everybody has been brainwashed with this hustle culture American Dream, "Anyone can be a millionaire/billionaire" nonsense. I feel sorry for so many of these people until they start spouting the racist anti immigrant talking points, then I just can't.

I have a work bully but she's in another department. I honestly have no idea why she hates me so much but I think it's because she never really got along with my boss, so now that I'm under her, she transfers all her snottiness to me. If I had to work directly, I'd probably quit but I only see her a few times a week and my boss always has my back when she finds out how this lady treats me. I don't understand the mentality though--it's work, not high school.

I live in a large US metropolitan city, our homeless problem I can only describe as unreal. Every degree of mental illness on display for all of the public to see, addiction so strong the person has turned into your nightmare. Everyday, I walk past, I step over, step aside, not stare, not engage. On a weekly basis I walk past people writhing in agony on the streets, suffering from lord knows what. The police see them, doctors, nurses, social workers, everybody sees them. While I of course support affordable housing for all...I really don’t think this is the silver bullet. I hate to sound like an alarmist, but we’re really going to hell in a hand basket here.

I’m wondering what’s up with DH lately. He walked through a room I was in and turned off the TV I was watching. Another night he decided it was bedtime and turned the TV and light off as I was sitting there. Yesterday I was listening to a Sirius show I’d been waiting for (Eagles), and we pulled up to WalMart to pick up our groceries. He turned off the truck, took the keys, and shut the door so he could let the tailgate down. I yelled but he didn’t hear me, and when he got back in I asked him WTF he was doing. He acted like he didn’t have a clue what I meant. Yeah, a mental health issue has crossed my mind, but so has the possibility that he’s just being a dick.

Today is World Mental Health Day. Please do something kind for yourself today. Lots of craziness in the world. Sending hugs.

I always feel so effing guilty for spending money on myself. Even though I work hard and I earn it, I feel like I don't deserve nice things. I just spent almost $1000 on a new elliptical machine to replace my old worn out one and I feel bad because I bought a nice new one instead of a crappy used one off Craigslist. I am going to start being nicer to myself--I don't think that I give myself a lot of credit and it's taking a toll on my mental health.

I have a lot of trouble making friends too. I just never liked being around people much as a kid because my mom was also very judgmental and whenever I'd bring people over, she'd find a reason for me to not be able to hang out with them (usually because they didn't go to church or something dumb). I hung out with books and animals and consequently as an adult those are typically my friends. Sounds pathetic but honestly, I kind of prefer their company to most people's.

I honestly like being busy most of the time, but I know it's not great for my mental health. I try to take some time daily to chill out and just spend time with my family and talk to my friends. It's not as much as I really would like, but it's a start. We really shouldn't be too busy for the important stuff.