I am angry. Not sure at what. Fate? Not sure I believe in it. Him? Kind of. I don't blame him for leaving though, he has every right and I would too. But how do you live somewhere for almost 20 years, work there for nearly 5 years, make a life, then all of a sudden just up and leave, and go so far? And the new "job" isn't better (doesn't even really have one) we were getting so close. Then just like that, he decides to leave. I'm left behind, heartbroken, I don't understand. His last day is soon; I'm thinking of avoiding him and avoiding a goodbye. No, I'm not going to his stupid goodbye. He practically invited me as an afterthought, barely acknowledging me. I'm shattered by all this, confused as hell.

VERY recently separated, I'm sure he's already with another woman. Maybe that's why he didn't want to even try to work on our relationship. I wish I wasn't heart broken.

A couple weeks ago I saw a website about panic attacks. I just started having them a couple months ago and had decided to talk to my doc about it at my appointment next week. The website says to blow on your thumb (REALLY!) when a panic attack starts. I was at Walgreens this morning and it started. Heart palpitations, broke out in a sweat, head started pounding. I left the store and went to my car. I blew on my thumb for 90 seconds, and lo and behold, it all stopped!!! YAY!!!

I do so many things wrong as a parent, but had a little glimmer of joy today when my 8 yo DD told me she prayed before bed on her own last night (her dad puts her to bed when I work nights). I pray with her every night when I am home. I am so proud of her and feel like I have done something right!! My heart was so full when she told me.

The song I happen to know all the words to (I don't know why, I just do) by heart is "Mope" by Bloodhound Gang. Even the Pacman part!

I don't know how I'm going to go on. He left, my world has been turned upside down. My heart's broken and don't know how I'm going to pay the rent and bills alone. All I do is cry. I can't believe this is what has become of the life I loved. If it weren't for ds, I would try to find a way to end things.

I decided ages ago - no divorcees, no kids. Someone told me I'd never find anyone if that was my standards. I refuse to "settle" for what I know in my heart is best. I'm CF - I don't want anyone else's kids, either! Guess what? I not only found exactly what I wanted, I had my choice of several men who didn't have that baggage. Ladies, if you know in your heart what you want, what you need, don't give up because random people get all butt-hurt about your choice. No, I don't think you should judge the person, but there's nothing wrong with preferring someone without kids and babymamas. Better to be alone than in a train wreck relationship that is WRONG for you!

I was misdiagnosed when I was 16 years old and it nearly cost me my life. Basically I had a bunch of seemingly random symptoms that I put up with for a long time before finally going to see a doctor about it. She didn't even take my blood pressure before leaping to the assumption that I must be pregnant - FIY; I did not have ANY pregnancy symptoms and I was yet to engage in sexual relations. She didn't believe me though and insisted on doing an 'exam' to be sure. She basically pushed and felt my abdomen and concluded that I wasn't pregnant. "I guess it must just be stress then" she said with a shrug. When we got back in the car I told my mother that the doctor was wrong and I honestly felt like I was going to die. Fortunately my mother took me seriously enough to drive me straight to another clinic almost an hour away to get a second opinion. This second doctor was baffled by the first one and even though she had no idea what was actually wrong she could tell that something very serious was going on. She sent me straight to the hospital, and after a battery of tests were ordered (MRI, CAT scan, X-ray, etc.) I was rushed into emergency heart surgery. The specialist that spoke to my parents said he was amazed was alive and said that if we hadn't gone for that second opinion I would have died within 3 days. To this day I always insist on second and sometimes third opinions if I feel I need too. And lucky I do too because my daughter has also been misdiagnosed - nothing as serious as what I went through though thank goodness.

Someone left our gate unlatched and my dog ran away this morning. Thank goodness he is friendly and didn't go far, so I got him home. I'm the OP whose other dog died last week-my heart seriously couldn't take it if I lost him too. =(

For blood pressure there is a well know, well researched diet plan called the DASH diet (Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension). Google it and click on the site for the national heart lung and blood institute. I don't know why a doc would tell you to up your protein. It's clinically proven that a diet very high in fruits, vegetables, moderate in dairy and low in sugar and salt helps blood pressure to the same degree drugs do. Doc didn't do his research. Read up on it. Try it.