I never wanted to date my ex. I wanted to be single, enjoy my life without getting my heart broken. Everyone convinced me he was a great guy, shy, sweet, a non cheater. Well he was the biggest game playing lying cheater I've ever came in contact with. He proposed twice, first time changed his mind, second time was cheating. Now he claims after I caught him that he'll change, wants to fix it. I was a psycho before 'making up" claims of him cheating. Verizon is awesome for 18 months worth of phone records yep he only text this girl 520 times a month, called 3-4 times a day. Took her on vacation posted it to facebook, Now he'll change because he knew I was leaving him. He even paid for a app to hide the calls, text but phone records it still show them. I wasted 7 years, feel sick, I hate him! He'll change for 2 months. If that. He opened his online accounts to me thinking it wouldn't show. I'm glad it did but angry, hurt, want to hurt him but I don't think I ever could. You have to have a heart to feel pain. Why waste my time.

My best friend is dating my BIL again (her hs sweetheart). My IL's are flipping their shit. They're about to be 30, not kids anymore. I have just been sitting back and watching it all unfold. I always knew my BIL was still in love with her (my DH and I are hs sweethearts that's how I met my best friend). I have to say I'm privately enjoying my IL's going nuts. They are awful people who treat each other terribly- they treat anyone that comes into the family even worse. My BIL gets to be happy and my IL's are pissed? Alright by me.

PEOPLE SUCK. I am so over 'em. I'm tired of feeling hurt, feeling pain, sadness, being ignored, and just getting my heart dragged through the mud.

I love my mom to pieces and would love to be able to talk to her all the time like we used to (we live an 1.5 hours away). In the past few months, she's learned how to text and will text me a few times a week. It's so hard to decipher what she is saying because she is a bad speller and hardly uses any punctuation. I always have to assume what she is trying to say before I answer her; and I don't have the heart to tell her that I don't understand. I'm beginning to think that maybe I should, especially since she corresponds via email quite often in her line of work. I know she has access to spell check, but what if she isn't using it?

I'm just going to chime in on the ring thing. My husband bought my ring from a friend who had purchased it for, but never gave it to, another girl. That didn't work out, and honestly I'm glad because she was a tramp and he's better off. But he sold him my ring for next to nothing. We drove out of town an hour to a Celtic store and bought my wedding band for 14.00 eventually I will upgrade. I will melt down the engagement ring and use the tiny diamonds (? idk if they are real) and make a pendent or charm or something special. And I will keep the celtic heart knot ring but wear it on my right hand. It's not that these rings aren't special, or that I don't love them, and I'm definitely NOT a gold digger. But we were in a time of just scraping by living on ramen and mac and cheese. Our lives have upgraded, so my rings will too. I'll be able to pick out something that I actually want, not something that was picked out for someone else, and it just happened to work out :)

Made another hearty egg casserole in the mini heart mold that included brown eggs, broccoli, okra, tomatoes, green onions, red potatoes, and aged gouda sprinkled on top. I used up lots of old veggies. Seasonings include curry powder, turmeric, thyme, black pepper, and sea salt. I finished it off with serrano salsa on the side. The whole thing was very gouda!

My DS is 19. He works with his dad in a family business in a tiny little town. Off to University is not an option for him (grade-wise). He isn't interested in attending community college. I want to shake him. I want him to LIVE! I want him to know that there's so much more out there for him! I want him to go places and meet people and DO things! And I know, in my heart of hearts, that if he did this he would be a happier and more fulfilled person. I want so much for him to get the hell out of that town and at least see that there are more options for him than following in his dad's footsteps. I want him to join the Air Force. How do I bring this up? Should I even try? I hate to push him. But I really think he needs a push. He could really excel in the right environment.

I feel like a fool. Wait! I AM a fool. At least when it comes to him. 4 years and I JUST found out he has 2 grown daughters. And he was married. He has always made out like he was only CLOSE to getting married once- and that he wanted 2 kids. Yeah, because he ALREADY has! I'm sad, upset and heartbroken right now...

I believe in God and eternal life. I also believe the majority of the Bible has be formed into the beliefs of man not the actual Word of God. You can't tell me that Man wrote down everything exactly how it happened and was said. The bible has been translated so many times that a lot of the true meaning is lost. Then you have Christianity with many denominations. How is it one book with multiple ways to follow it. Everyone interprets it differently. Couldn't that also mean that way back in the day when the Bible was written that the people who viewed the events interpreted it differently or the stories they heard changed from one mouth to the next. Studies show when a group of people witness an event that many different accounts of what happened are recorded. The person next to you might remember it differently than you do. It happens now and I am positive it happened then too. Then you take into account that men had more power than women. Why wouldn't man write a book to keep the women submissive to the men and make them fear Hell for not following the word of God. I believe people were becoming powerful with spirit and things were written and forced on others to control them. I feel there is to much contradiction in the Bible. One verse will say God is a loving God and a forgiving God.(Which I believe) Then another verse will say that a woman shall be stoned to death for not being a virgin on her wedding day. How can a forgiving God not forgive but tell people to stone someone for disobedience. To many questions and sketchy accounts for me to follow what man has written. I follow my heart.

Grateful that I have my mom to be with on this Mother's Day. I am lucky to have them but it is also heartbreaking and they are also annoying. I feel like a bad person sometimes. I have such anxiety about them because they still live in their own home and need more help than they are willing to have. I can't even meet my own needs let alone theirs. They are in their 90's.