Went to the doctor today after experiencing some scary heart-related problems. Waited 1 1/2 hours! She walked in the room, told me that the two diagnoses I was given two months ago don’t ‘co-exist’ in the human body. I begged to differ with her then she blurted ‘whaddya want me to do? Wave my magic wand?’ I’m usually very polite to doctors because I’ve got a couple in my family and their path to general practice can be horrible. But she was so rude to me that I said, ‘I’d like to tell you where to stick your wand, but I’ve wasted enough time here today,’ and walked out. I’m calling my insurance tomorrow to tell them not to pay when the get the bill.

It's just this weird "Only me and mine matter" Ayn Rand philosophy that is so popular among conservatives. I'm British, and loads of people are now calling for the UK NHS to be scrapped and it breaks my fucking heart. We see a lot of press here about how crap the NHS is, yet it seems to rank highly when studies are done. It has its problems, but to me the idea that someone can literally fucking die because they can't afford treatment is just so foreign to me. I don't understand how anyone can be so selfish and self serving. The same people that pretend to care about the rights of a foetus because they want to control women, I guess.

Lately I've been doing some self-reflection trying to see what others may see in me. I'm wondering if the person I see myself to be is different than how others perceive me. They definitely don't know my negative thoughts.... Anger, hatred, self-pity, negative self-image, etc. Right now in my current situation, I'm not happy with myself. I'd like to change and grow and develop into a better version, but not really sure how to do that. Just some thoughts that have been heavy on my heart in times of loneliness. I'll be randomly journaling to try and get a grip on ways to change for the better.

You’re right...the infection wasn’t localized. And one small abscess turned into a life-threatening situation. I’m home but will be on IV antibiotics for at least four more weeks. I had to have a cardiac procedure to reset my heart to a normal rythym, and four docs told my DH that I came in close to death. I’m still hearing stuff that happened during my six day stay. I will never take things for granted again.

My family and I are struggling right now. I have a older sister (Will call her K) moving back home from across US, for us to better support her health. She has illnesses, I'm just learning that her mental health illness is really serious. For the past week, I went over to help my other sister (C) take care of my nephew (T) since she's helping with move logistics along with my brother-in-law who's out of town and helping physically w/ move. Last night, C and I got into a heated exchange which started randomly, but it triggered a lot her (she was like my parent growing up). I became inconsolable and was not available to help watch T which led to an angry outburst by C (also T's mom). I didn't want T to see me crying and ask whys. I felt like child again being scolded at, but hearing T consoling her really broke my heart. I'm amazed that a 3-yr old kid has so much empathy. She later apologized, but I'm still very emotional about even this morning, so I decided to take a car home.

Update: went to ER, had emergency surgery for cellulitis with early onset of gangrene (not the regular kind but I can’t remember the name), sepsis and atrial fib. I’m in ICU with four constant antibiotics IV’s and some heart massager thing. All this because of a boil???

So just to summarize: You are jobless, need money and your (ex?) separated husband with whom you still live refuses to help you. He's an alcoholic. You cannot stand your own daughter. She is also an alcoholic. She is also mean, judgmental, and critical and just gave birth.None of you get along. My heart breaks for that little baby.

I'm not liking the stage of life I'm in right now. Mid-life, post divorce, empty nester. I'm dragging myself to work everyday counting down the few years ahead to retirement. I have plenty of good friends, close family and I have my health.... All things I'm grateful for. I honestly don't have a need in the world. I stay active, have many interests and hobbies, but I'm longing for romantic love again and that hasn't been easy to find. It's interesting to see how that has made such a difference to me in my attitude and energy. I'm trying to stay positive and find new adventures to experience, but I honestly feel like my most fulfilling, meaningful, heartwarming, lovable time of life is behind me.

I worked with a woman who died of cervical uterine cancer when she was only 34. It was so sad and surreal. She was such a sweetheart and kept working until a few weeks before she died. She had a four year old son. Just tragic.

Anybody who thinks trans people are abominations should watch the movie "Girl" on netflix. Then you tell me with a straight face you think they're evil or whatever. That movie is heartbreaking.