I've been on a biking kick lately, enjoying the trails here and nice weather. I ridden 60 miles in the past week. I did a nice out and back for 20 miles this morning. The only thing missing are friends that love biking as much I do.

Day 2 of kayaking. I've talked the most today with the group. I'm shy, introverted, but I need to open up and let people in. It felt great to speak more than usual. Everyone got hugs (all vaccinated) and that felt so sweet and authentic. I love this program. Sad that it's over!

Both kids go to school this year and I'm going to get a job and figure out how to become independent. Going to get BC is 1st on my list. 12 years I've wasted on my H. He doesn't do anything but work and play. "We can't afford a house or private schooling or IRAs", but we can afford $40k shop, $30k porch, $20k 11yo car with $20k in mods, etc. And he's a solid 3, constantly telling me he wouldn't love me if I was fat or if I stopped doing everything I do. If I stopped for even one day, this entire house and relationship would fall to pieces. I can't even leave him alone with the kids bc he loses his shit bc they're kids. I have done this for too long and wasted too much of my life serving an idiot. I could have been so much more, and I want out.

I love WFM sometimes like today when I finished my taxes, called DMV, and made lunch/dinner. I get so much more done than being stuck at the office.

Yes! Away from the city as much as possible. I didn't realize how much environmental stressors can from living in a dense city. I'd love to be around anything calming like mountains, gardens, and body of water (ocean would be greatl, but river or lake is nice, too). The ideal climate must be warm at least 75% of the time. Thanks for asking!! :)

So Bill and Melinda Gates are getting a divorce. As someone married to a person with Autism, specifically Asperger's, I get it. I totally get it. He's wildly successful and a nice guy, but is just emotionally vacant. Like he just doesn't have the ability to empathize. He will try and go through the motions, but he doesn't genuinely feel it. He will never understand that his actions or words can be insensitive. Half of all these marriages are celibate within 2 years, because physical contact is physically uncomfortable for many Aspies. My husband has a baseline understanding that married people are supposed to have sex, so he schedules it, like a chore. But again, emotions aren't something he really understands, so it's a purely physical, mechanical act. Like having sex with a robot. I see you, Melinda. You tried. You probably do love him and him you. But you don't feel loved. I understand it so well.

Real Estate con't: Even though prices here are soaring, it's still cheaper than California or New York, where A LOT of the folks are moving here from. The bigger problem is that appraisals are not keeping up with sold prices. So houses aren't appraising at the value of the offer. That means if you're financing through a bank, you have to make up the difference. So people are having to bring $250K or more to closing on an $800K house (average cost in my zip). And a lot of people don't have $250K cash lying around. Someone actually offered us $929K for our house. We have absolutely no intention of selling. At all. But they lost out on our neighbor's house and loved ours and the location. We paid $280K for it 15 years ago. I love my house. We have made it in to our perfect home, and even I don't think it's work $929K. But if that's what someone is willing to pay, that's what it's worth.

Have you ever been with a man that doesn't care for blow jobs? Mine could care less about them, but he loves hand jobs. I've never been with a man like this.

I am so very over this whole thing where the only time anyone talks to me at work is to bitch about something. OR- to ask me detailed questions about work I did back in February. Fucking really? You don't even speak to me or look in my direction for weeks and you KNOW how fucked up this client's work is- and you think I'm going to be able to answer your question? No wonder I fucking hate it here. I really do. I love the work, but I have really grown to hate this job. Every minute I'm here I wish I wasn't.

I love pulling a card from my RUMI Oracle deck. It's been really helping me through major transitions with acceptance and love. I also have the Queen of the Moon Oracle and Rider Waite Tarot deck.