No one said it's ok to tell him to kill himself. The OP had an emotional response to being treated like shit by two adult men. That "kid" can see the situation his mom is in and has chosen the path of being emotionally manipulative, most likely because he learned it from his dad. You can only treat someone poorly for so long before they explode and hopefully he learned that it isn't ok to treat his mom like shit. So, hell yeah, my heart goes out to the op, too. Not the mini-abuser she has to live with. I hope she can get away from both of them. She owes them nothing if they're going to treat her like crap.

I know it's not easy, but you should consider sitting your husband down and having a come to Jesus moment. This is seriously affecting your life, and the only way to start making it better is to reclaim your power by speaking your truth. We all have low moments and it's cruel of him to control you by torturing you with your past. He is either completely oblivious that he's hurting you, or he's engaging in a form of emotional abuse. Either way, you owe it to yourself to start putting an end to this cycle.

I like my dh like a roommate. We never have sex, any other physical affection, and he is emotionally unavailable. He's perfectly fine with this arrangement but I'm not. He always says he will change and he's sorry, blah blah, but has done nothing. We get along fine (because he doesn't fight either, just shuts down). We have kis, he makes dinner every night, and we watch our TV shows. I think I just need more out of a relationship. I'm not miserable so I can deal with it now, but once our 2 preteen kids are grown, I'm ready to move on.

For those of you concerned about the precious babies being murdered by the horrible women, there's a great article on BuzzFeed right now. They interviewed an ob-gyn who has great insight; much better than "my sister's cousin's friend works in a hospital and she said." The example she gave of a late term abortion on a healthy pregnancy was one in which a brother raped his sister and it took a long time in the courts. But I know, I know. It's so much more fun to get emotional and judge, instead of living in reality.

Well, y'all can take heart in the FACT that this type of abortion is extremely rare. Yes, I said EXTREMELY. Women don't abort healthy babies at a rate that warrants this level of "concern" and condemnation. Instead of perpetuating the lie that this is commonplace, do some damn research. Your emotional response to the false narrative that women are committing infanticide is NOT reality. Ffs.

My colleague that is leaving soon is depressed, emotionally eats, has no work-life balance, and feels badly about everything. She absolutely takes care of everyone first and I can see that being hard not to do when you're a single parent. We have a lot in common everything except the single parent. Wow. I really don't want this to be my life at age 54. Another reason to start my own healing with self-acceptance, self-love, and self-care.

Here are my diet changes for 2019. I will say no to fast food (used to it eat at least weekly), limit eating out and one sugar item to only once per week (to eventually wean off sugar altogether and only eat at home - will also save $$), prep for all meals and snacks for the week, always carry veggies/fruit or nuts in purse, 80% meals will be plant based (eventually becoming pescatarian), will only drink green smoothies, water or tea, and aim to move my body at least 1 hour everyday (hiking, yoga, gym class, etc)), and lift weights 3 times a week for 1 hour. As you can see most of my changes are with my diet since that has been my Achille's heel with emotional and overeating binges. I have to do this self work with love to have a better relationship with myself.

OP here.. Thanks for your kind words. I appreciate the feedback since I don't have anyone irl to talk to. I asked him if he wanted a divorce and he acted surprised and said no. I truly think he's fine, for now at least, with this arrangement. He's not one for change and I think he would just go through his life like this. But you're right, it's emotionally exhausting. I'd rather go home to Noone than him. He's never made any changes to better himself in any other ways either, so why should his marriage be any different. He sucks, but so do I for putting up with it. We never even fight, which is healthy, it's just me doing all the talking when I'm upset. He contributes zero emotionally to this marriage. At least he knows better than to ask for sex. That would be the last straw.

What an emotionally exhausting situation for you, OP. If he isn't willing to help make things work, he's not leaving you much of a choice. It almost sounds like he's done but doesn't have the balls to end things. He wants you to be the bad guy. I think you need to speak your truth to him, put the ball in his court, and if he still doesn't respond, there's your answer. So sorry you're going through this.

I used to have a friend like that. She's not a bad person, but I'm better off without the pettiness and drama. Once I decided I didn't want that baloney I'm my life, I just sort of outgrew that friendship. Sounds like that's where you're at, too. Relationships like that are just too emotionally draining.