DS & GF are all moved into their new place with DGD. They have a very small amount of furniture that we gave them, and a little bit of kitchen stuff. And they are about bursting with happiness. And when I visited with them, they told me how they're using the budgeting system I taught them and currently looking for better jobs. And DGD is just starting to crawl. Good things.

I know someone with clinical OCD about germs, and she bathes her dog in the kitchen sink. Also pours dirty mop water in there too.

Serious question here: do you think there are people that keep their house "clean" but not "tidy"..?? Like, stuff all over the place, mail, stuff, clutter, stuff like that... but baseboards are clean and the floor and toilet and stuff are all bright and shiny clean. I'm curious. We all choose what we spend our time on. My floors haven't been scrubbed in forever but my kitchen table has nothing on it but a plant and some candlesticks. KWIM? What constitutes a mess to you? I have time for either clean or tidy. I don't have time for both. And I wish I had money for a cleaning service but I don't. So "clean" goes on the back burner and I settle for "tidy".

I dated a guy who was a huge slob and it was actually one of the main reasons we broke up. Sometimes I'd be over his house and I'd just clean. It was gross, the couch actually had a melted candy stuck to it one time and he would just lay a towel over it and sit on top of it. WTF? I scraped it off and scrubbed the area clean and told him that was disgusting and he'd end up with bugs. He blamed his kid for it and acted like the kid was just too much to keep up with. Uh....how about teaching your kid not to leave a melted candy laying around? Oh and another time there was Elmer's glue puddled all over the kitchen table, still wet from something his kid was working on. When I told them one of the should clean it up they looked at me like I had two heads. They would leave half eaten bowls of cereal out too, nasty. And dirty dishes would sit in the sink for days. The garbage pail could be overflowing before anyone took it out. Disgusting.

Why do people take a clean house as a personal judgement against them? I've run into the EXACT same issue with my DH's relatives. I do keep a neat house, not ridiculously neat but clean. I don't get on my hands and knees to clean with a toothbrush and I don't freak out over spills, but if something spills I wipe it. My fridge is tidy, I don't have stuff dripping down the sides or hardened, dried-up spills inside mine like my IL's do in their house. My oven doesn't have gunk buildup all around the burners and my floor isn't covered in grease. I've NEVER criticized their home to them, not once. It's just not how I choose to keep my house. I also don't have clutter, my kitchen table isn't heaped with old mail and catalogues. They've more than once said my house "doesn't look like real people live in it" and implied that I'm "OCD". It's pretty annoying. If you want to live like slobs that's your choice but you don't have to be obnoxious to those of us who like a clean living environment.

People get weird when it comes to cleaning. Years ago when I left my h, I went to stay with two of my very good friends until I got my own place. I was there for about 5 wks, and I'd taken time off of work to get things in order. In addition to giving them money for bills, I also sat down with them to make a grocery list, and filled their kitchen with food. One day when they were at work, I cleaned their apartment top to bottom. It was pretty gross, but I had it sparkling. My one friend was grateful, as her job was hectic and she rarely had time to clean. The other apparently was insulted. She became really snippy with me and would bring home classifieds with apartments circled, although I'd already put a deposit on one. She never spoke to me again after I moved out. Five years of friendship down the drain because I cleaned her mess for her.

pt 2 They also referred her to a psychiatrist. I hope they can help. I have watched this situation worsen for years. Even when my mom was alive it was bad. I never thought I'd be the one taking this on. She has no husband or kids. Her friends are willing to feed her cats and alerted me that things were getting bad, but I notice no one has offered her a place to stay or to meet with the cleaning company, even though they live in town and I'm 1.5 hrs away. When I was growing up it was the sweetest little house and it was well kept. My aunt and uncle had horses and a garden. Now the plumbing doesn't even work except for the kitchen sink. I guess I knew on some level that it would get to this point, and I sympathize. This is so humiliating for her. But the house is a hazard. She has to accept the situation and deal with it.

For the first time in the entirety of our marriage (over a decade) DH made dinner. It involved him buying a $500 barbecue, $200 in accompanying accessories, and an insane Costco run on meat that could feed a Memorial Day party but instead was meant for just the 2 of us and 2 kids. Dinner wasn't ready until 8:15, and I had to make the vegetables in a hurry. After that, he drank half a bottle of wine and said he felt woozy and collapsed on the couch for 3 hours while I put the kids to bed by myself. The kitchen is like the scene of the hindenburg. Call me ungrateful, but I'm not that thankful.

OK this bugs me and I don't get it. Say you are on Amazon, where people are asking questions about the product. For instance, someone might be considering buying a small kitchen appliance. A poster will ask, "does this do function A or can you do function B?" and someone will answer, "I don't know, I haven't got mine yet" or "I am not sure, I haven't used it." Um, what? Then why are you even answering??? What makes someone stop what they are doing to post that? One time someone answered, "I don't know" and that is all. WTF?

DS & GF are officially looking for a rental to move into. I'm kind of sad because I thought they would want to stay longer and live with us while they took college classes. But they're adults, and they're both working. They want to be independent. I'm happy for them and worried for them at the same time. At least they plan to stay close and not move too far. I'll still be able to help with DGD whenever they need me. I'm NOT going to give them money though. Not a cent. I'll just go to Goodwill and buy them kitchen stuff and end tables and whatnot.