My favorite weight loss mantra: If hunger isn't the problem, then eating isn't the solution." So true!

So bummed. I went to the doctor today about some pain in my hip. She said it might be arthritis (!) and sent me for an x ray and blood tests. Well, results of my blood tests came back, showing me in the borderline range for thyroid, plus high cholesterol, and kidney function looking a little iffy. I have had some unexplaine weight gain lately, but my BMI is still barely 22. I don't know what is up with my cholesterol. I've been eating a lot of eggs lately, but not much meat. Kidney function? Do I need to drink more water? I looked up arthritis in hip, and it came up as degenerative osteoarthritis. Degenerative? I'm in my 40's. FML.

Yesterday I saw Christmas decorations for sale at the store..I'm no where near being ready for the holidays. But I should be at my goal weight by Thanksgiving. So whenever I see Christmas stuff I get a little excited thinking I will be looking/feeling great by then at my healthiest weight ever!

There is a facebook blogger who lost all her weight with lap band. She is constantly saying SHE lost the weight because she did the work, not her lapband. I am not shaming anyone who wants/needs bariatric surgery. But, when I see her post this I always think, then why couldn't you do it without the lapband? I feel like she has a good platform to educate others on weight loss surgery. She can say the lapband was a tool to help me reach my goal and I still had to put in extra work, etc. Just rubs me the wrong way I guess.

I don't know what to do!! I'm doing stair stepper machine and weight training, I alternate days. I'm eating healthy, balanced meals, only eating if I'm really hungry instead of eating just to eat , I'm watching my fat intake. I don't eat much cheese, bread, red meat, or sugar, and I've cut out my every once in a while glass of wine. And my stomach is bigger in inches, my legs have more cellulite, and I don't know what else to do!!

Walmart keeps impressing me with their affordable, stylish, and dri-fit workout gear! I bought stuff from their new Avia line including black capris, blue tank/green tank, and lightweight hoodie (already got compliments) for $33.

I get a serious case of "swamp ass" in hot weather. It is so frigging embarrassing. Tried corn starch and it doesn't help for very long, and I'm a bit afraid to use talc products because of their links to cancer in women but it's just so horrible to have to try and hide a sweaty butt :( I'm a little bit overweight but not hugely, but I'm desperate for a thigh gap in the hope that it'll help.

It's been a week since I've drank alcohol. I've gotten into the bad habit of drinking wine almost every night (a glass usually, not more than that) and bingeing on the weekends and I know it's just too much too often. I've also been getting migraines which I think are caused by alcohol. So I quit drinking. I went out on Saturday night and drank soda water with lemon and a lime and I didn't feel like I was missing out. It would feel good if dh noticed. He didn't like how much I was spending on wine, but he hasn't noticed that I haven't bought any wine for a couple of weeks. I'd like to keep this up until I have a girl's weekend in the middle of August. I feel the same way I do when I lost enough weight to be noticeable and he doesn't say anything. I really need positive reinforcement. Maybe I'll make an appointment with my therapist so he can tell me good job.

I used to have a friend that was/is drop dead beautiful. She loved to go out and party party party and was just a lush. Me, I'm good looking but I'm overweight. I like being home or somewhere low key to be with friends. She attracted all the good looking muscular guys that didn't have brains but had money somehow someway. I attracted more intelligent men with medium looks and no money. She doesn't remember any one of those dopes names whereas I am still friends with quite a few that we've met over the years. In fact, one helped me get to my job I am at now. I don't know how her and I stayed friends for so long of 15 years, we were complete opposites. I guess it took me that long to realize it.

You'll drive yourself crazy if you weigh yourself throughout the day. Even a glass water can make a difference in your weight.