I used MFP to track all of my calories for an entire year. I met my goal weight and kept tracking for maintenance a few months after that. I stopped tracking and have gained most of it back even though I'm trying to be careful. I don't want to have to track my calories for the rest of my life, for f's sake! So depressed.

I lost 75 pounds. I have 25 more to go and I am set to go to my home state before traveling to a new country. My dad said I better get on the ball to lose weight before going home. I have such an eating disorder that hearing that made me think that maybe my family only loves me when I lose weight and fit their standards of beauty. I get that my dad may be afraid that I will get unhealthy again but I have come so far...am I ever going to be good enough? I know my husband loves me, I know that I can be a good friend, a great cook and a decent writer. I am going to accomplish a lifelong dream of traveling but I still feel like the fat girl who was never good enough for anything, the scapegoat who never stood up for herself and just that sad person all over again. I used to eat so much and I feel like...with the pressure to lose weight before seeing family, I have started throwing up and taking a lot of laxatives while also overeating some days and little on others. I feel horrible.

So I'm trying to not count calories or worry about calories. I lost 60 lbs counting calories and have kept it off for three years. But I'm trying to focus on eating truly quality food instead of counting. It's freaking me out. A lot. A whole lot. I'm not sure I can do this. I'm worried it's just going to become me eating whatever I want again. I can't gain the weight back. I can't.

Oh my goodness coworker! did you just really tell our other coworker she looks good with her weight loss and that you are happy she was able to lose the weight she had been wanting to lose for months?? This was before she left on fkn medical leave because of her being assaulted in her own home and having had a nervous breakdown??! Where is your fkn tact and manners?! I'm so pissed at this coworker. She's so damn stupid. I'm glad her manager saw it and pulled her into her office to chat with her though. Poor victim coworker she just smiled politely, and I apologized to her. As if being assaulted and breaking down was the way she wanted to lose the weight she wanted. SMH. People..I swear.

I loved the body channel. It had very little bickering and most of the people who posted/commented were really nice and encouraging. I liked being able to post about my weight loss progress and encouraging others when it came to their weight loss. I understand that a lot of people don't want to read that stuff all the time.

I'm shocked at how many people I know who don't seem to understand words these days. I have at least 6 friends who are single, and after every boyfriend breaks up with them says "I'm so done with guys! I'm going to focus on me for a while. No dating until I'm happy being single..." Or something along those lines. And days later they're on dates or madly in love with some guy they just met. One girl even got engaged to a guy just weeks after they started dating. He left her cuz she wasn't losing weightand when I said to her, in a private conversation, good riddance to anyone who doesn't love you the way you are she tells me "I'm just so sick of being lonely" and then when we meet up with people she's right back to "take some me time, no dating for a while..." When I said, at 15, I wasn't going to date anyone until I was happy being single I meant it. I didn't date again for 3 years. And when I found someone worth giving up the single life for he turned out to be my husband. I really wish they would just stop lying to everyone, including themselves,by either not saying it or by actually following through.

About thirteen years ago, I was seriously considering RNY surgery to lose weight. I didn't weigh quite enough and I seriously considered gaining 30lbs just so I could qualify. I eventually decided that was really stupid and I learned about eating clean and avoiding processed food. I lost all the weight on my own...no one IRL knows how close I was to getting surgery.

I just found out about the site My Body Gallery - where women upload pics of themselves (clothed) to show normal women - and you can search to see women of your same clothing size, weight, height, shape, age, whatever you want. The thing is, not all, but many of the pics of size 10 women, height 5'6" look like the pics of size 2 women, height 5'6" - so weird how our bodies hold weight, but seriously - I can't believe a number of those size 10 women are really a size 10...

I cannot believe I didn't gain any weight with all the food-eating I did this weekend. Yogurt cups, eggo waffles, turkey sandwiches, tacos, pork loin, oh, and copious amounts of beer.

I'm obese and want to lose 100 or so pounds. I finally made a list of reasons why I need and want to lose weight. Some are vain reasons, some are health reasons. But every time I look at it, I get the urge to work out!