It's so nice to see compassion, especially these days. There's an elderly man in my neighborhood who sells coins in the parking lot of a chain restaurant to help bridge the gap between social security and life and someone made a gofundme for him. Last I checked, it was well over the goal, nearly $20k! And they said they were working with an accountant to make sure he's okay legally. I hope it's legit and he gets every cent! He hasn't been on that corner since local news covered the story. Hope he's okay.

My natural paranoia had some help last night. A friend and I were at a restaurant I haven't been tp in 8 years. A couple came and sat down next to us and I never looked at them. About 15 minutes into their sitting there, they leaped up, grabbed their menus and water glasses and moved to another table very dramatically. Those of you with excellent boundaries will be like "So?" But I have been mulling over, "Was it something i said?" "Did I know them from somewhere?" I know it's funny and I am aware of how nutso that reaction sounds. But I am really aware of how often I think I have dome something in situations where it's like the last likely thing.

I live in a rural farming community. People move here for the smaller population, peace, quiet and slower pace. But once they get here, they complain endlessly about having to drive behind slow-moving farm equipment, or the smell of certain crops, or the cannons the farmers use to scare off the birds. They also complain that there aren't any big-name chain restaurants, steak/seafood restaurants, no Starbucks, Trader Joe's, Wegman's or Whole Foods, even though all of these are within a 20-30 minute drive. But both independent dollar stores closed down - the owners told me it was because most people only came in when they had 50% off sales, which was to move old inventory. So they want pricier stores, but will only go to the dollar store when they can get things for fifty cents. There's been talk of a Walmart opening, and they're going nuts. WM will "bring in the riff raff." They want a Target instead. A couple more years and we're out of this crazy town!

One problem with weddings for me is that I live far away from a lot of my friends. So whenever I get a wedding announcement, for me it means travel which is expensive. Then there are the gifts, the outfit you need to buy, etc. etc. Weddings have become so overblown and pricey and forget about being in the wedding! If you are a bridesmaid be prepared to shell out $1000 at the minimum. So then when some of these people separate a few years later and talk about their new "soulmate" you do get jaded. First wedding? I'll be there and go all out with a lovely gift. Second wedding? I MAY show up and give you a gift certificate to a decent restaurant. Third wedding? I'll wish you congrats on Facebook.

My dh is always so over the top with food. He'll bring me cereal, but it's a combo of 2-3 different cereals, with grapes and bananas. He'll be in the kitchen and ask if I want ice cream. I say, "Yes, please - chocolate peanut butter." He brings a bowl with a scoop of that, a scoop of whatever else is in there, topped with chocolate sauce. (He also puts cereal in his.) Tonight was "Casual Night" for dinner, meaning everyone just eats/makes what they want. A commercial came on for a breakfast restaurant and I said ,"Oooh, I want pancakes!" Dh said he'd make me some. But not just regular pancakes, oh no. Chocolate chip pancakes with chocolate sauce, caramel sauce and whipped cream. Jesus Christ. And five days ago he declared that he was going on a diet. Hasn't happened yet.

Ugh, I keep getting calls from these companies that want to give me time share information. HELL NO I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR TIMESHARE!!! They offer gift certs to expensive restaurant and fancy hotels "in exchange for a couple of hours". HELL NO I'VE HEARD ENOUGH HORROR STORIES ABOUT TIME SHARES! NO NO NO!

Speaking of hating one's job...I finish my job in two weeks. My boss is throwing me a "going away" party at a restaurant and inviting all my coworkers. Truthfully, I don't care about any of them much...they always did exclude me from their little get-togethers and most of them thought I was a little "weird". I could really not care less if ever see any of them ever again. But I'm sure they'll all show up for the free food and be fake with me about being sad I'm leaving. I'll only really miss two of my CWs and they won't be able to make it to the party.

I wonder when I became so cynical about everything. I think so many things these days are either pointless or stupid. I used to be able to enjoy things so much more, but it seems like now I think everything is so pointless and dumb. I don't think a medication could help...I think it's just my mindset. I know moving would help a lot because I live in a very culturally backward area and I grew up in a city with a lot of diversity, good restaurants, fun stuff to do, etc. It's hard to get excited about the things that are considered "fun" where I live now.

My aunt has instituted this "Sunday night dinner" thing that she wants to do so that my parents don't always have to cook, etc. The deal is that everyone meets at her house on Sunday to eat or else we meet at a restaurant. It's usually my aunt and uncle, my parents, my brother and sister and my nieces and nephew. My DH isn't invited because my aunt hates him. We meet at my aunt's house because it's closer to most of the family, but I have to drive 100 miles each way to get there and back. And all the dining out is getting expensive. Truthfully, I don't want to go anymore because I'm getting sick of all the driving and having to waste my entire Sunday driving there and back to see my family who spend the entire time trash-talking my DH. I'm going to tell my aunt I can't go anymore because I'd rather spend Sundays with DH, at home. I'm not being unreasonable, am I?

If I go to a restaurant, even a family one, like Applebee's, I still expect people, even children to act in an appropriate manner. I've been taking my ds to restaurants since he was little and one time he acted up, at an Applebee's actually, and we left because it's not fair to the other patrons to have to listen to my special little guy crying. Dh and ds went out to the car and I waited for our food to go because it was too late to cancel our order. I was really crabby with ds and annoyed at his little temper tantrum. If I was annoyed and crabby and I love him, I can imagine other people would be even more annoyed and crabby.