Look friend, I don't know what to say. You say you want to lose weight, that your doctor tells you to lose weight, that your parents are harping on you to lose weight, that you wanted to lose weight before your vacation .. and then at recent outing, in which all the desserts at the venue were far, far away from view, you ordered not only a panini, a super large hot chocolate but later also a large (saucer size) chocolate chip cookie and then after that a good-size brownie. Our other friends were trying to be respecful of me (and my much-discussed, doctor-supervised diet) and not eating dessert in front of me. (I don't ask people to do that but it was nice of them) So no one was triggering you. You had to hunt out the desserts and order them from the separate dessert desk. I know dieting is hard, believe me. I'm just at a loss because no one can control what you eat but yourself.

I want to kick my fil in the face. He refuses to take responsibility when it comes to his own actions when it comes to taking care of our children properly while in his care. Dh and I found out today that he was making one of the kids ride on the floor of his truck cause there's not enough space in his truck for him to properly transport 3 children. fil weighs over 300 lbs and takes up way too much space in his truck for our kids to fit in there with him so he made one of the kids sit on the floor with no carseat and no seatbelt. He tried lying to us but all of the stories we heard from the kids are consistent. He yelled at dh and made it out to be mine and dh fault that the kids weren't properly secure. I'm just livid at him. He refuses to lose weight, refuses to childproof his house, refuses to transport the kids safely, all while pointing the blame at someone else. it's NEVER his fault. Ever.

H and I have suddenly started having a very odd relationship. The only time we're really nice to each other is when we're with Ds. The rest of the time, we're like distant acquaintances or roommates. I've no idea how to fix this, or what happened. I have had a diagnosis of occipital neuralgia, I am on meds that decrease my libido (he's obsessed with sex), and they make me depressed and gain weight. But I've really been making a true effort. Or so I thought. But he keeps getting more and more distant. Oh, and he's started drinking. A lot. I guess I didn't try hard enough. Or I wasn't good enough for him. I'm beginning to wonder I'd I shouldn't just let him go. It would hurt, but he deserves someone who will serve him the way he deserves. He would treat a woman like that like a queen.

Just bought some new clothes. I'm an XS, size zero. And yet I feel awful about my body right now. No boobs, thighs too big, nothing fits quite right. I hate this feeling. Why did I work so hard to lose all the weight only to end up STILL feeling crappy about my body? It will swing the other way, I know it. But today, I feel like a cow.

It's official: no matter how much weight I lose or how I change my diet or how much I run or how much I work out with weights, I will NOT lose these saddle bags. They are with me for life, I'm afraid. I wish I could make peace with that.

I need a good tutorial on how best to workout with dumb bells or body weight exercises. I have split up my workouts into abs and arms one day and glutes and hips the next day. I do whatever exercises I feel like on those days. But I feel like I may be missing a few muscles groups or something? There's a lot on the net that overwhelms me. Anyone know a simple site that breaks it down easily?

Had some pain on the inside of my thigh by my knee. Looked up exercises to strengthen it. Realized I'm ALREADY doing those exercises, and that the pain was because I added weight. I am so dumb! I thought the exercises I was doing were for my ass. Nope. Knee. Well, this makes me happier, I guess! But what's weird is that I'm having some tenderness in my knee, anyway. Ugh.

I'm getting SO frustrated. I'm losing weight, slowly, but I don't seem to be losing it in my stomach. I can see changes to my thighs, arms, face and even my waist is coming in - but my damn stomach still sticks out like a big beer belly! I've started a hiit program 2 weeks ago and do that 3x/week. I'm close to giving up.

Ordered my mini elliptical today.....ready to start operation "save my knees by taking some weight off them" lol....