My 1st child was a girl. I thought we'd be so close and it would be easy because I was raised mostly with my mom and sister. The 3 of us are close. I couldn't be more wrong. My 2nd child was a boy and I was so scared I wouldn't know what to do with a boy. Him/20 years old and I are super close, and dd/30 and her dad are close. She's opinionated and always has to be right. She's also driven, hardworking, organized and clean, smart, pretty, thoughtful. My son is quiet, shy, a joker, lazy, not organized, sweet and loving. Ya never know! But I love them both dearly. :)

I've decided to turn my small house into a lovely little cottage and just live my best cottagecore life until we decide to sell. I feel like I never really "moved in," even though we've lived here for 10 years. I've always just treated it like a starter home. But dh is dragging his feet about selling, so screw it. Mushroom decor and flowers EVERYWHERE, dude. This place will be fit for a wood elf when I'm done with it.

There is absolutely nothing sweeter on the planet than reading to my little 4 yo granddaughter until she falls asleep in my lap. OMG I love her so much. She's just the most precious creature on planet earth.

I think it's Seventh Day Adventists...my grandma's church group she grew up in...they believed that part of your "duty" as a good Christian was to keep yourself healthy so you are there for your loved ones on this earth as long as possible. It's a very interesting mindset and one that I think more people should think about. I only say this because my DH too has gotten fat and lazy and stopped taking care of his health too. Although, I think he'd probably start caring if his dick stopped working lol

My life is trash. I have no friends, I have multiple mental illnesses, a crappy job that barely keeps a roof over my head and I'm in totally unrequited love with someone who barely knows I exist. I cannot be bothered to take care of myself or my home anymore, caring for my dog is about as much as I can manage. At least my meds make me not want to eat much so I'm not obese anymore. Cannabis is literally the only thing that gives me any pleasure in life and with or without it, I dont have the will to change anything even if I could. Which I can't. It's always been shit and it always will be.

I'm confessing here that I'm kind of pissed off at my husband for getting fat. People say it's part of getting older, but that is complete bullshit. I've given up an ever having sex again. I have no idea if he can even perform any more. He doesn't ever seem interested, and I have tried to talk to him about it, always to no avail. He's my best friend and I love him so much. But it pisses me off that he's done this to us. It doesn't help my self esteem, either, that my husband won't have sex with me. But honestly, I think the whole problem stems more from his weight than from anything I did or didn't do. It just makes me so angry and sad.

I just led a 30 minute meditation with my sis in Brooklyn. It was so lovely connecting with her during the middle of the week. We already have family calls on Sunday, but this was such a nice treat to meditate with her over Zoom!

I have to work more on being humble. I'm a smart person, but I also try to be perfect all the time and people LOVE to point out when I'm wrong. I know it's a character flaw of mine. I think it contributes to a lot of problems in my life, unfortunately.

Yesterday I sat on a rock while meditating (something I rarely do) and out of nowhere a heart-shaped balloon comes floating by. I watched it for few moments before it gently floated away. Sending you love wherever you are!

I remember her being a sweet kid that loved to sing, read, and hike. She had a beautiful angelic voice. She would have graduated from HS last year. Too frickin' young. I need to keep chipping away at my mental health because nothing is guaranteed.