He sent me a selfie of him out in nature with his dogs. I usually feel really tense around dogs after having a bad childhood exp., but some part of me just really softened. It caught me off guard. I'm not sure why he's in my life, but I'm just going to enjoy it.

I'm so angry with my vet. My old dog had cancer so obvious that it wouldn't take a vet to spot it, yet he had all these scans and somehow they missed it even though I mentioned he had a big, hard stomach. I would've accepted cancer but they were leading me astray with finding things like a urine infection instead and thinking if they hadn't spotted anything on all these scans, it can't be that. Now I wonder if they even looked at the scans, this last weekend the lump was so big IDK how they could've missed it. So instead of having him PTS six weeks ago, he's had 6 weeks of being a canine pincushion at the vets twice a week to the point he was refusing to go in...then I had to take him to a place he clearly now fears yesterday to be put to sleep, instead of finding out six weeks ago and maybe taking a few last peaceful days with him, not watching him struggle and decline. It's nature's cruelest joke that dogs have such short lifespans.

I just feel like something is happening to me. I'm not myself. I don't want to go outside. I don't want to go to work. I don't want to do anything. I feel like every time I step out my door, people are watching me. I just want to be alone. Like, alone alone. Where I can't hear the neighbor's dogs barking or people driving by on their dumb golf carts. I want to walk out the door and be truly alone.

I'm having surgery in a couple months. Up until then, I have a lot of appointments to deal with. This week alone I have 3. Most of my appointments were scheduled a month ago. On my business page I let my clients know which days I will be unavailable to watch their dogs. Today is one of those days. So they all knew a month ago that I can't have any dogs here today. I also verbally told my regulars. Guess how many dogs I have today? 4, all regulars. 2 I was okay with because they'll just lay down and hang out. The other 2...one is high energy and the other barks a lot...they're in another room, but being loud. The 2 chill ones are with me & already napping. I'm a pushover and totally stressed out now. This appt is a group (with other patients) virtual appt so distractions will mess everyone up. =\

Everything has gone wrong this week, and today takes the cake. My phone is messed up and I need to go get a replacement($$$), a concrete truck knocked out my internet, the lawnmower won't start, I got nothing done today that I needed to, Saturday is my son's covid safe birthday party and if that is ruined I will absolutely cry. And my dh is mad because- I asked him 3 weeks ago to make an enclosure for the dogs to keep them out of the way for the new slab- he didnt. And I couldn't find the fuel filter on the mower and spilled oil everywhere when I opened the wrong filter and then spilled fuel everywhere when I couldn't get the fuel filter off. "Why don't you ever ask me to do anything?" He says. THIS IS WHY, DICKHEAD. I don't need him. I don't know why I keep putting up with his shit. I do everything myself anyway.

I'm js, and I know it sounds bitchy, but if you can't follow simple directions and have no sense of direction on your own. And if you're going to start screaming at the mere sight of a dog... You really shouldn't be doing delivery services as a job. My grocery delivery was over an hour late and I had to be on the phone with her the whole time like Google maps isn't a thing. SMH. I live 13 minutes from the store. I literally just did it because I'm trying to finish a project and couldn't leave the house. And for the record, my dogs were not anywhere near her and were locked up during delivery.

2/ Now my childhood friend is apparently on meth and homeless. Her teenage daughter has started a Go Fund Me for her. My first impulse was to give as much as I could. Then I remembered a conversation my mom told me about- My childhood friend was on the phone with my mom and told her that her mom was splitting with her boyfriend. My mom asked where she was going, and my childhood friend said, "She's moving in with you. She'll call you." THIS SERIOUSLY HAPPENED. Of course my mom let her move in. She stayed for a year. The understanding was that she would be saving to move out, but she was always spending her money on crap. She brought her two little dogs with her, and they barked all the time. When my dad asked her to please try to keep them quiet, because the neighbors were complaining, she dropped the dogs off at her ex's house and stopped speaking to my dad because he "made her get rid of her dogs." SHE STOPPED SPEAKING TO HIM IN HIS OWN HOUSE

I'm leaving in the morning for a week. I asked my neighbor/my landlord's grandson to watch my dogs. I already paid him. I asked him to come over today so I could show him how to care for them. 1am I hear them screaming outside. She thinks he's been cheating on her with me. She put a bunch of her stuff in her car saying she was leaving him, then an hour later brought them back inside. I'm sitting here nervous thinking he's going to tell me last minute he can't watch them cuz of her.

One of our dogs has serious health issues, he's in a lot of pain, and he weighs 130lbs. We send him to visit 'grampa' (FIL) all the time because he gets too stressed out if he's around our other dogs too long. He'll get snippy and fight-y with them or hurt himself trying to play. DH and FIL and I know how to act around him. If we didn't he'd probably bite us. FIL let the neighbor kids come over and play with him and he bit the 12yo. Not bad enough to consider putting him down, but OMG I wish that man would listen to what we tell him. About anything. Ever. Big guy's NOT the kind of dog you let kids pet or play with. He's just not.

My mom's dog, who hasn't been aggressive previously, chased down my ds5 and bit his leg badly enough to need stitches. He wasn't even anywhere near the dog. I found out it's bitten 3 other kids, not as badly, in the last week. My brothers are claiming it just needs training and that mom *needs* the dog, my dh wants it put down, and my mom says she just wants the dog gone, but my brothers won't listen. My ds5 won't go anywhere near our dogs now and he's showing some signs of trauma, not surprisingly. Idk how to help my ds. Have any of you dealt with this kind of thing?