There are so many reasons why I’ve put on weight over the years. Old sports injuries have kept me from exercising very much. I can walk, but running is out because of bone spurs, arthritis and instability in my ankles. I absolutely walk. I walk a lot, but getting in my 10,000 steps every day just isn’t enough now that I’m in my 40’s. My shoulder is bad and I avoid anything repetitive. Life stuff has really gotten me down and out multiple times in the last 6-7 yrs and my anxiety and depression have been super not good. The drugs I take really help me, but the top side effects are....weight gain. Yay. I emotionally binge eat, but really try to maintain a healthy diet if possible. It sucks. I eat oatmeal and yogurt for breakfast, mixed greens and a chicken breast for lunch and a decent dinner but then I get anxious and panicky and end up eating two bowls of cereal before bed. Believe me, it is super easy to pack on the pounds even if you’re not lazy or addicted to soda and fast food

Ugh, I'm right there with you. I look at pictures of dh and I when we got together (not even 10 years ago!) and he's so handsome. We both put on weight because he likes to cook/eat hearty meals, and we like to eat out. But while I've worked hard to lose the weight, he keeps piling on more. It goes only to his stomach and face; his legs and arms are still relatively thin. He literally looks 9 months pregnant. We'll have the house to ourselves and I'll think, cool, we can have sex, and it's the same thing as you - he's lying on the couch and his big stomach is poking out from his shirt. Instant turn-off. He's made light-hearted jokes about it, and says that being fat means that he's happy in our relationship. He also doesn't understand how me being overweight makes me UNhappy.

My confession is that I wish DH would lose some weight. He's SO handsome. He really is. If he didn't have a gut? If he had a decent body to go with it? (Like he used to).... *sigh*. How do I tell him that I don't find him physically desirable like I used to because he's gained weight? I don't feel like it's fair. I didn't gain weight. Why did he? So what we're in our 40s? Is that a reason to give up and let yourself go? Yeah, yeah. I'm the asshole for caring what his body looks like. Flame away. But it's how I feel nonetheless. I look over at him lying in bed sometimes, thinking I wanna have sex, and then I see that bulbous gut. And it turns me right off. I wish it didn't bother me, but it just does.

I'm the one who wrote about being obese and being thin and being treated differently. I wasn't even talking about the remarks about my weight when I was overweight. I'm talking about how complete strangers were just nicer to me. People smiled and chatted me up more. Instead of standing by myself at parties, people came up and talked to me. When I went to one of my kids events or something, people included me in their conversations, even if I didn't know them. Like, "Come join us!" No one ever did that when I was overweight. Like they didn't want to be seem with me, or it was contagious or something.

I’ve been overweight all my life. When I was about 10 my great aunt said, ‘you’d be so pretty if you just lost weight.’ And that was when I realized that my sense of humor and intelligence was all I had to work with. Still overweight, and, yes, I believe I’ve been always been treated differently than if I were thinner.

I'm sorry you're experiencing being treated differently due to weight gain. I know exactly what you're going through. I was super thin all through HS. In college I suffered some emotional trauma and started drinking too much. I gained about 35 pounds and when I returned to my home town the reaction was incredible. People thought nothing of commenting on my weight, saying unkind things and being just downright awful to me. I had never been cruel to anyone in my life, in fact I was a shy quiet person, never a mean girl. But some people must've been jealous of me when I was thin because they sure took delight in putting me down for being heavy. Even guys I dated who seemed to really like me would comment on my "extra fluff" and how I could stand to lose a few pounds. Over time the weight did come off. They say sometimes it's your degree of confidence that changes and that's why people treat you different. I don't know, I felt like the same person whether I was thin or heavy.

I haven't even been obese. Just mildly overweight. I got all kinds of disgusting comments from people who thought it was perfectly OK to comment on my weight gain and changed appearance.

To the poster who gained weight - it's true. You are treated very differently when you are heavier vs thinner. As much as people want to deny it, there is often an unconscious bias in people that causes them to behave differently towards you based on your weight. I can show people studies on this but I don't need to...I experienced it myself, first hand. It sucks.

I gained a bunch of weight over the past few years. I want to lose weight for a lot of reasons but mainly because I miss being treated nicely. It’s a sad but it’s true: people (both sexes) treat you better & help you more when you’re thin and attractive whether they mean to or not.

i wish people would understand that my weight gain is due to a legitimate, diagnosed health issue that I am working with my doctor to try to get under control. So tired of people thinking my obesity is due to laziness, lack of willpower, or not trying the latest diet fad. No, keto, whole 30, IF, etc do not cure everything.