They didn't confess about being abused. They initially confessed that their ex is married to someone else 2 years later. Then, after someone told them to move on, they eluded to the idea of abuse, saying that the rest of us have no idea if they were abused, so no one should say anything to them. I'm sorry, but I think rape is trivialized enough in our society and the term "emotional rape" does nothing to help that. Emotional abuse is most definitely abuse, but throwing the word "rape" in there is actually offensive. I haven't experienced emotional rape. I've experienced actual rape. I'm not the one who initially told this person to move on, but I strongly feel that they just wanted everyone to gang up on the person who did, because they knew they could trigger everyone with the terms abuse and rape. They don't confess that they, their self had been abused, just that we don't know whether or not someone has been. If they had confessed that, I'd be singing a different tune.

Hopefully you don't mean to be as insensitive as you're sounding by casting doubt on the existence of emotional rape simply because you don't know what it is. It's a real thing. A real, terrible thing. Look it up and educate yourself and your loved ones. If you don't know what it is by now, consider yourself lucky that you haven't been exposed to it before.

Omg. I'll say it. I think you're being ridiculous. What the hell is emotional rape?

Eeyore is at it again. He's been doing okay, but yesterday he reverted back. He'll talk to other people, and even our cats, in a normal voice, but when he addresses me, it's "ho hum I've lost my tail." I feel like he's being really manipulative and trying to guilt trip me, but I can't figure out why, and honestly, I don't really care anymore. I'm starting to think this is a weird form of emotional abuse because he's toying with me, trying to make me upset so I feel bad for him, and refusing to tell me why. And he's refusing to go to therapy. I have four bills to pay off, and once they're paid, I'm out. I didn't sign up for this shit.

Sometimes people withhold sex as a power play, or to be hurtful, and sometimes the person is just no longer attracted. That is the problem for me. My husband still looks great. I just don't have the desire. I'm not doing it to hurt him. If your husband is withholding sex to manipulate you emotionally, to hurt you, he is a shitbag and I hope he drops a bowling ball on his foot.

Wow, to the poster who told me to "get over it and get on with it," in regards to a guy I was with two years ago, your reply was posted to the wrong board, so I only saw it on accident. But what a phenomenally shitty thing to say to someone, and I hope you never, EVER say that to someone you actually care about IRL. People get over things in their own time. You have no idea the amount of abuse or emotional rape (in my case) that people have endured, and YOU do not get to dictate when they "move on." People deal with their own shit in their own time, and everyone else should LET THEM, and be supportive if we can be. Are you the kind of person who says someone is "too sensitive," too? Also not something YOU get to decide. Why not try on compassion and empathy for a change instead of spewing intolerance on a public forum?

When couples are in therapy the woman is still doing all the work. Who suggests therapy and convinces their partner? Who finds the therapist? Who makes the appointment? Who explains the problem? Who is emotionally vulnerable? Who pushes through all the resistance? Who extends forgiveness first? Who keeps up their end of things at home, after therapy? The woman. I am not falling for that one again. We did that before we got married. I am tired of doing all of the emotional labor in the relationship, and I don't want to talk about all of my issues with him. I honestly just want peace and quiet. But thank you.

If you spend enough years only having sex because you are giving in, and you are basically letting someone have sex with your body because it is part of the deal, it messes you up, and that's where I'm at. He is a wonderful husband, everyone says so, and all he cares about is making me happy in every department except for that one, but when we talk about it, I end up needing to make him feel better. I am done with it. This is the kind of situation that makes you vulnerable to ending up in an emotional affair, real or imagined.

Nothing is wrong with being attracted to someone other than a spouse. It is natural and happens to all of us. It's how you react to it. And I think onces an emotional affair begins, a physical affair will most likely follow. Of course, easier said than done. It's way easier to be attracted to a random cashier at a store for example than someone you have to be around everyday at work.

You know how it is when you are married, and you occasionally have sexual tension with someone? Well, I'm having intellectual tension with someone. It's almost like a thing that could cross over into an emotional affair, but not exactly. I would never do something to jeopardize my marriage. Is it wrong to enjoy this feeling just a little bit? You can't always control your feelings. Thank god we can control our actions?