Family is still having their party. I'm not going, not just because of the pandemic but honestly-I hate going to these damn things. It's the same screaming over each other and awkwardness. Not to mention the damn White Elephant game that takes forever.

The good thing about social media is that all the hate the Trumpsters have spewed for the last 4 years is seared online forever. That means when I'm looking for an electrician to do work around the house, or a restaurant to hold or cater an event, or hiring for work, I will find it and not give you the job or our business. We re-did our bathroom about 8 years ago. We are getting ready to remodel our kitchen. I was going to use the same contractor but his FB page if full of pro-Trump rhetoric. He's not getting a call or the $60,000 job. The restaurant that welcomed participants of the Trump parade will never see us again or any of the events I plan (I do that as a volunteer for a couple organizations). A neighborhood FB page has a spreadsheet of all the local businesses that supported Trump.

You hit the body lottery! I say enjoy it. It might last forever, or it might change suddenly. But everyone has their blessings, and I think you should celebrate yours.

This is gonna sound bad, but here goes. I don't understand how I look like I do. My mother died young so it might be genetic i guess. But it blows my mind. I should be getting wrinkles, my body should be changing. SOMETHING should be changing at this age. I'm not some crazy health nut, I don't have things done to my face. I'm late 40s and I'm still 36/26/36. I have tiny lines on my face but only when I smile or frown or whatever. I have a little cellulite but not enough that you can see it, even in short shorts. I know how this sounds which is why I'm saying it anonymously, but I honestly marvel at myself sometimes. Like, how? Why? Oh, and last time I had bloodwork done the doc said barring getting hit by a bus, I might live forever. Mind boggling.

I think it's time we start dismantling the idea that age=wisdom. I know boomers whose wisdom wouldn't fill their shoes, and my zoomer kid sister has this bizarre wisdom way beyond her years, possibly because she is neurodivergent and has experienced a lot in her young years. I hate this weird youth fetishizing culture we have where everybody wants to stay young forever, but I also think the idea that age confers wisdom when every boomer I know posting racist memes on Facebook kind of bucks that trend. I don't think judging people off characteristics like age, sex, race, gender etc. is better when we're making a positive value judgment. Just look at the two guys running for president while Obama was considered too young lol. Not that he was perfect, but he's a damn sight better than what we're facing now.

I am so ridiculously vain in the sense that I'm obsessed with ageing and comparing myself to other people my age and whether i look better and worse than them, and I can also be a bit shallow with men...no matter how good a person they are, if I'm not attracted physically I have no interest no matter how great of a person they are, and given that I'm also fussy that literally leaves me in no man's land. I'm an absolute mess and have no idea how to fix it. It's not as if I was ever the hottest person on the planet either, I just about pass as "pretty" or "cute." I'm also totally emotionally immature, and IDK why I'm like this but I absolutely hate myself and I'm terrified I'm going to be miserable forever. I keep hearing the older you get the less you give a fuck what others think. Can that please happen to me yesterday?

I don't know what to do. I've been saving up to get myself a tattoo for my birthday this fall, a pretty large one. I've saved about $500. But now, I have a dilemma because my sewing machine (a very important tool for me) has just broken and the new one I want costs.... about $500. Now I'm torn because I don't know what to use my money for. I've been putting off this tattoo for years. I've wanted it forever. But... it's my SEWING MACHINE. I use it all the time and I love to make stuff. I love to make myself clothes, in particular. And I don't have one (that works) anymore and I'm sad about it. What should I do?

I think I really need to start distancing myself from those two friends. They're nice people and I've know forever, but I feel like I'm constantly being ignored or their needs are more important. On a recent group text, I sent them a picture of some chalk art letter I did. I was really proud at how it turned out for my first time and it had a motivational message. I'm not artistic, but thought it turned out great. No response, but one friend did share a selfie of herself talking about her natural curls. Then the other friend replied. Sigh. This is getting ridiculous. sad to say, but it's time to move on.

I agree with your DH. It was 35 years ago. He's moved on and forgiven. You need to do that too. And I still call my uncle's ex-wife Aunt and talk to her. It's not that unusual. Like it or not, those people are his kids' relatives forever. Do you really think it's better to be a child about it and not want them in your house or to get along? You dh's right...they were going on information they only got from her. They're trying to be the better people here, and you're just being petty.

I was just assessed for adult ADHD and it was confirmed. What blew my fucking mind was being a strong suspected case of avoidant personality disorder. I thought I was just socially anxious but it makes absolute sense. My doctor told me ADHD often causes anxiety and anxiety can lead to strong avoidant symptoms, so with being treated for the ADHD he hopes some of that will clear up. I hope so too, because AvPD seems like one of those overlooked and poorly understood disorders that nobody seems to have much of a clue how to treat, and frankly living with this type of brutally low self esteem, loneliness, tendency towards shallow relationships and fear of rejection in relationships forever sounds like a living hell. Being lonely scares the shit out of me way more even than the increased chance of accidental death that people with ADHD risk. I'd rather die loved than live lonely.