I agree with you, gabatik. I was married for 25 years and then divorced, and just recently ended a 4 year relationship w/bf. I don't consider either of those a mistake or a waste of time. My marriage was very good throughout most of those years and I have nothing but great memories. We got along well and were good partners and a good team. Sadly we grew apart and he didn't want to put in the effort to make it work any longer. While I agree with your post, I personally feel like a failure that my marriage ended in divorce. Can't explain it and it's probably irrational, but maybe it's because I still love my exh and my heart is still broken over it. Divorce tears families apart and leaves scars. We had to move out of our home that we built together and the home our son grew up in. Thought we'd be there forever. For the most part I've healed and moved on, but I don't think I'll ever be completely okay with it. My dream ended and for me that feels like I failed.

And I said I'm giving him a chance. But it's a fact that he is lazy and making excuses too. I'm not going to sit by and allow him to ONLY eat fast food forever and become home bound and run us into more debt. He refuses to get a job. What am I supposed to do, work 2 jobs so he can just sit at home? Should I just allow this to happen? Become trapped in a bed, delivering food to him? Let him die? Nope. I will support him and help him get treatment. But I won't condone this and watch him eat himself into an early grave and me into $100K debt to pay off after his death at the age of 50. I deserve better than that.

To the OP that was talking about her DH having a hypomanic episode and then seeming to forget about it. My youngest DD is like this. She is Bipolar with Psychotic episodes. She can go off on a huge rage that lasts forever. Then she will fall asleep and then seem not to remember anything when she wakes up. I am sorry your husband does this to you. I know how difficult it is. I am hoping that eventually they will find the right medications to help my daughter control this.

My ex H broke up with a girlfriend because they went to a club and she got up and line danced. Something about the way she looked while dancing turned him off forever. She never knew why.

So, yesterday as we were leaving Walmart dh uses his phone (the kind that you can do the "ok google..." Thing with) to google places to get car windows tinted in our area. Seriously... Wtf is wrong with him? We are moving out of the state forever next week. We are doing everything we can to save money right now and he wants us to spend months with his parents so that we can payoff some debt and buy a better house than we currently can afford. I wanted to cry when he told me that because his mother is batshitcrazy and I know I will wind up having to spend all day with her. We have it figured out to be able to start looking for a house by the middle of next month and he wants to blow money on tinting car windows? What a fucking idiot! I've already told him a dozen times we will not be tinting our car windows until we have paid off all debt and built a decent emergency savings. He had dropped it for so long I thought he understood, but apparently the "extra" money we will be getting for this move seems to have triggered his be an asshole reflex...and he was actually surprised when I told him it wasn't happening. Dumbass...

A woman I work has a huge chest. She is always boasting about being natural and how men oogle her all the time and women are jealous of her. She is forever wearing tops that emphasize the hugeness of her chest. Honestly I think she looks gross and disproportionate. Plus they are saggy.

Potato chips and french fries. Those are my taboo foods. I need some form of fried potatoes in my life, forever. I will not give them up. But I've learned to not eat them often or in large amounts. (Unless of course I've just broken up with someone, then all bets are off.)

Im the OP with dad who is sick. Yes, he can be an asshole lol. I am not putting him first though. I only spend an hour or so a day if that, helping him. Dh resents it. ONE HOUR a day tops. DH is a bigger asshole. DH dosent help around the house. He told me he would put my laundry in the dryer for me. My WET laundry was sitting on top of the dryer when I got home from work. DH regularly talks down to me and loves to rub in that he has more formal education than I do,, but he is all ass kissy with his exwife. He also regularly has problems with people at his job, which makes me worry about or finances. He came close to getting let go about a year ago, before my dad was sick. I considered separation. He also had gotten into arguments with several neighbors about stupid shit. As for his family, we dont get along super well, our house is small, and I am not going to stop them from visiting but they can't stay here. We have a small 2 bedroom house and I just cant have more people (that I dont get along with) here for me to clean up after. I realize there are people who care for an elderly parent 24/7. I have no idea how. I realize my dad is not going to be around forever and still feel guilty about the horrible things I have said, and I also realize I may be making a decision about my marriage in the near future. And I find it weird that my dad gets nasty with me if do MORE for him. I really dont get that.

Here's funny story about eloping. In my early 20's I claimed I would never marry. Ever. I met my then boyfriend and he felt the same way. We had talked to both of our families about how reluctant we were to ever marry on numerous occasions, and we were just fine "living in sin" forever. Then, we took a vacation to Las Vegas after dating for about 9 months. We played a prank on our friends and family, telling them we had gotten married. We didn't actually get married, and I was so surprised that people readily believed that we did. Especially after we spoke about our hatred for marriage...a lot. It was a huge mess and there are some people (MIL) who still bring it up. Fast forward 5 years and some maturing later, we decided to get married. Of course eloping wasn't an option at that point. Best/worst prank ever. People believed it, but it ruined our chances of eloping.

Yes. I am 28. Yes. I want a long engagement. I know several people my age who have married and already divorced. I refuse to let that be me. I don't care if we don't get married until we are in our 40's. When I marry him, I want to be 100% sure we are meant to be together. None of that engagement/marriage after knowing each other only a few years BS. Marriage is forever (to me anyways) and sorry I think it's odd to promise your life to someone when you have only known them a few years.