Dh an I both have different ways of dealing with big projects and get grumpy when it isn't done our way. We are unpacking our apartment right now and he is driving me nuts. I try to be organized... Big things like dressers and book shelves where they need to be so as I unpack other things I can put them where they belong the first time I put them down. He has some crazy method of making a bigger mess and sort of getting tunnel vision on one thing at a time. He wanted to collect and put all of his army stuff in our outside storage so anything he came across just got piled somewhere else. I've had to clear off the table a dozen times in the last week just so we can eat. I've lost count of how many times I've had to clear things off of the kitchen counter that don't belong there... And I busy myself somewhere else to stay out of his way and because he makes messes in other rooms he won't clean up. I got the bedroom mostly unpacked and set up for bed and he dumps a box of coats on the bed and ignored them for 3 hours. Anyway, I thought I had unpacked all of the boxes that were full of my stuff and he finds one, but it's under a bunch of his boxes. So i tell him to let me know when it's free and I'll go through and deal with my stuff. I come out of the shower and he's going through the box, asking me if I "want this" every 2 seconds while I'm dealing with our toddler and getting offended when I sound irritated. I told him several times that I packed that box (the army sent people who packed like 99% of our belongings so sometimes there was stuff we didn't want in it) so I want everything in it, I will deal with it when ds goes to bed. And he just takes stuff out and stacks it on the floor, asking me if I want to keep things now and then and not paying attention when dh starts messing with it. He's flipping the pages of my books like he expects something to be stashed inside... Idk why, but it really irritated me. I know he's not suspicious of me... There's nothing to be suspicious of. But idk why he's pawing through a box of stuff that is obviously all mine when there's a whole room of his crap that still needs to be dealt with.

I'm the OP with the problem with my sister. God you guys are terrible. Here's the scenario: Sister is grabbing ingredients, I'm at the stove, mom is near the sink and my daughter is next to her washing vegetables. Grandma goes, "Woo it's a little crowded in here." Mom says, "Yes, *daughter's name*, how about you go help great-grandma." Daughter whines a little to stay because she wants to help. Right as I am about to turn around and escort my daughter out, sister goes, "GOD, GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN." Grabs her by the arm, pulls her out and once she is already out, my sister shoves her once again when her back is already to her. My sister is physically in between me and my daughter. My daughter grabs on to my mom because she is completely terrified and starts to scream. My daughter was not acting like a brat before asked to leave and she didn't fully understand why she had to, she was just physically being in the kitchen. Her bratty behavior that I was referring to, was the whining to not leave the kitchen. It happened fast. She acted more defiant because my sister is not one to even talk to her or play with her or act like a serious adult around her. I wouldn't expect my daughter to listen to my sister because she is practically a stranger to her. And I wasn't expecting my sister to act as she did because my sister, once again, is not too familiar with my daughter. When I said I didn't even get a chance to intervene, I literally did not because my sister went from 0 to 10 in a millisecond. Y'all are judgmental as fuck. What my course of action was to be, was after my daughter whined, turn around, take her hand, and tell her she's going to go help somewhere else so we can finish cooking our yummy food. I'm not going to physically grope and pull and shove my daughter while yelling at her for a situation she didn't understand. P.S. I mentioned her size and weight because my sister is extremely strong and left marks on my daughter's arm. My daughter was helpless in that situation. I'm hurt because I failed to even protect her from a situation that happened in such a flash and hurt MY kid. I feel helpless and overpowered by someone who shouldn't have done that. EXCUSE ME for letting it out in a place that somewhat feels safe to talk about the shitty things that happen in my parenting life.

If you can't teach your child rules or at least to respect and listen to adults then don't be surprised when others take matters into their own hands. No matter how wrong your sister was, you were wrong for not stepping in and handling the situation. A busy kitchen can be very dangerous anytime but especially when the adult isn't used to having children running around and in the way. Your sister was probably rattled by the obnoxious antics your child was displaying. If you seen someone else's child act like your daughter did, I am sure you would be thinking OMG that little brat but since it is your own child you probably don't see her behavior as disruptive and annoying. You said she was throwing a tantrum and had been asked to stay out of the kitchen a few times....you then said your sister didn't give you time to intervene. Actually you had ample time when she was throwing her tantrum and after the first time she was asked to leave the kitchen. It shouldn't take multiple request. Instead of trying to make your sister out to be the evil witch how about you start working on your child's manners and respect towards others.

If you're child had been asked repeatedly to leave the kitchen, then you did have time to intervene. Parents always seem to be blind to how bad their children behave and how it effects others. I think your sister handled a situation that you were ignoring.

If your daughter was asked a "few time" to get out of the kitchen, you HAD a chance to intervene. I had a similar situation in my kitchen several years ago. I was cooking and we had asked ALL of the kids to go play in the playroom. All of the kids left except cousin's 5 year old son, he continued to get in the way while we were trying to cook. My cousin "asked" him to go play with the other kids, after her "asking" him 3 or 4 times, I took him by the arm and led him out of the kitchen and TOLD him to go to the playroom. He screamed like he was being beaten while I lead him from the room but he did go with the other kids. Cousin was pissed but her standing there asking him to leave wasn't working. The kid wasn't hurt - except maybe his pride. He wasn't grabbed or shoved in anyway like cousin accused me of. Family members actually told her she might want to take a hold of him every now and then to get him in line.

I've been held hostage at family events where we were subjected to bratty destructive kids. If you've got a kid who is annoying others, your responsibility is to make sure she doesn't. Remove her, don't go in the first place, or get another family member to be in charge of her while you work in the kitchen. An unruly kid who won't mind has no place in a kitchen where she can get hot gravy spilt on her or stepped on or worse. It's a safety issue.

On thanksgiving morning, my sister put her hands on my daughter in a way that was completely unacceptable. My daughter was throwing quite an embarrassing tantrum. Yes, I acknowledge my daughter was acting a little bratty. She would not get out of the kitchen when asked a few times and started whining. My sister (she's has no children and kind of doesn't like them) grabbed my daughter by the arm and pulled/shoved her out of the way and my daughter was holding on to the counter for her life because she had never been touched in such a way. My sister's a big girl. 5'10 250ish pounds. My daughter is five years old. Sister's been acting like a total bitch for the past few days. She was horribly rude to my daughter throughout our thanksgiving dinner. All other family members just turned the other cheek. They always do this to my sister because of her temper. I'm livid. There are times when my daughter acts in ways she needs to be punished. But a punishment should never be physical. Sister didn't even give me a chance to intervene and remove my child from the situation. The act was right in front of me. Now my sister has such a short fuse with my daughter. Sister acts like she has the power to do that again to my daughter if she misbehaves. I'm about to check her ass because if she ever lays hands on my daughter again, I will lose my shit.

I'm the OP who has to cook dinner for Thanksgiving in my hoarder MIL's icky kitchen. I'd love, love, love to have the food catered, but that's not going to be an option because FIL, BIL and DH all insist that the food is "homemade". I'm thinking I can bring some sides along with me, but as for the turkey, we're going to have to make do. I'm just praying that she doesn't have any stuff stored in the oven.

Since I was little, for over thirty years, I've been told my mother was killed by a drunk driver. This weekend I was going through a box of photos I got out of my dad's house after he died and at the bottom was an envelope. Inside was the police report, coroner's report, and photos. There was no drunk driver. My mother's best friend was driving the car (which I already knew) and she failed to yield at an intersection. They were t-boned on the passenger's side. I saw photos of the car. The reports described all my mother's injuries. There is no way she could have survived. She died in the ER. The report also said my father elected not to press charges against my mother's friend. I sat at my kitchen table and cried. I don't know for sure why or who I was crying for though.

MIL and FIL are hosting us for Thanksgiving dinner on Black Friday because I have to work on Thanksgiving Day. MIL requested that SIL and I help FIL cook the meal because she won't be feeling well. I have no problem helping, but I know my SIL won't help and I'm sorry, but my ILs' kitchen is disgusting. They are hoarders and although it's not as bad as it was before, it's still just kind of gross all over the place. I'm just so grossed out by having to cook in that kitchen and it's making me so anxious about even going. I won't have time to clean it before I cook. I am slightly freaking out right now.