Sometimes I remember the past I had with my husband. I love him, but it still gives me pain and I also think of divorce but not that I don't want it but that I am afraid of it. I know I could survive on my own but I also know that I don't want to live without him or look back with regret. I have obsessive thoughts and the thought of hurt, fear of divorce just run through my head. What he did was so monstrous at first and I wanted to leave, I didn't know the truth of why he did it until later. We are now seeing a therapist but I still look at him through the corner of my eye. Wondering when the shoe will drop. I love him a lot and I know he loves me but those obsessive thoughts bother me so bad but then again I know if I leave, the obsessive thought of him would go through my head.

A couple of nights ago, I had what I would call a bad dream. I dreamed that I had sex with David Hasselhoff! And as if that wasn't bad enough; he had a small, thin penis. I could hardly feel it.

Used my food stamp benefits at the farmers market today. Love this option! Too bad I couldn't use it on a fresh bag of kettle korn.

We just regifted one of DD6's birthday presents to another friend. Even though DD was ok with it, the toy was in its original packaging and had never been taken out/played with, and the original giver and the current recipient don't know each other, I still feel bad about it. I just didn't have the money to buy yet another birthday present this week.

My ex smiled when given bad news. It was a weird, insincere smile accompanied by a blank look in his eyes. It was absolutely infuriating, and contributed to the end of our relationship.Me: "I have bronchitis and I am coughing up blood and will be out of work for a week" Ex: (big huge smile)

I smile when someone tells me bad news, like a pet has died or someone is very sick. I don't mean to, it's an automatic reaction out of shock. I have to quickly rearrange my features into a concerned look. It makes me feel like a shitty person.

Here come bad news talking this and that Yeah, give me all you got, don't hold back Yeah, well I should probably warn you I'll be just fine Yeah, no offense to you don't waste your time Here's why Because I'm happy

If you're feeling bad about yourself, youtube Can You Quack Like A Duck. It is not kid or work safe. However you are not one of those people in the video which should be comforting.

You put up with the manipulation because she got you thinking you were the bad guy. Typical behavior of an emotional abuser. Must control both the person and situation. If she tries to come crawling back ignore her because she'll be up to her old behaviors.

I used to love TLC but now it's all about midgets, gypsies, that Honey Boo Boo thing, fat people, coupons, and The Duggars. Every other station is reality TV. There are a few good sitcoms but others focus on bad one line zingers that aren't even funny.