I don't know if the stars are aligned just so or what, but my five-year-old is having a full blown tantrum because I wouldn't let her have a soda with dinner. She already knows this is law under my roof and I don't even know why she asked. I don't even drink soda. We don't have it in our home. After the debate that quickly escalated into a tantrum, she's been in her room screaming for the past 25 minutes or so because I couldn't even soothe her. I'm sure she threw some things around by the sound of it. But I'm not gonna confront her when she's like this. I'm out here in the safety of the living room until she calms down. Honestly, I just worked 8 hours and had to work through my lunch. I'm an assistant therapist for emotionally disturbed children. I even use the tantrum-fighting tactics I learn at my job on my child because they work really well. But, some days, I just detest coming home from a job where kids cry and scream all day to a home with a crying and screaming child. I need a break. All day, every day most of my time is with kids. If not my kid, someone elses. And since I work with children, people constantly ask me to babysit for them. At parties, I get to be the child-watcher. I'm on the verge of breakdown. I love my child. I love my job, I love all children but some days it's really just all the noise that I can't stand. I really need a break.

Abuse can be different for everyone. My mother never hit me(aside from spankings, which is a whole different argument), but she sure as hell drove me mentally nuts with her mind games and emotional manipulation. The emotional and mental damage is pretty permanent. Gotta agree with the below poster (hope she's still below) when/how should I be classified as a *real* abuse victim?

I've done every diet known to man but I always gain it back. I think the key for me is to stop dieting and restricting, and learn how to eat intuitively. I'll admit I eat when I'm not hungry a lot. But figuring this out is harder than it seems when you have been dieting, restricting then bingeing, feeling guilty, and relying on emotional hunger most of your life.

And I think it is inappropriate for her to label herself as an abused person. Her story is merely minimizing those who are truly abused emotionally, verbally, physically. There has to be a line drawn somewhere. Someone is not abusive if they dont fall into idealistic standards of behavior. There may be more to her story, but as presented, that is not abuse and some of us who were abused find shit like that highly offensive.

Adopting through foster care is often free. It's not easy. I won't lie. Its an emotional roller coaster, but so is ANY type of adoption. I get tired of people (in general, not on here) say that adoption is too expensive. It is...if you want a newborn baby or a child from another country. If you go through the foster care system, as I said, its often free. Often they don't care about how much you make, as long as you can afford your bills and to provide food and shelter for a child. They look for reasons to approve you, not deny you as an adoptive parent. So if you are interested in adoption, please consider going through the foster care system. It takes a while, but so do the other adoption options (overseas, private/domestic). I have yet to meet an adoptive mother who said it wasn't all worth it in the end.

I called off my wedding because my then fiance was morbidly obese and refused to even try and lose weight and he smoked on top of that. I did not want to be his caregiver in 10 years. That was 12 years ago. Now he is in a nursing home. If I had married him I would have taken care of him at home for several years then lost EVERYTHING I own to pay for his nursing home care. Insurance only covers so much and then you are expected to sell off your assets, then once all that money is gone you can apply for Medicaid. So glad I was not ruined financially, emotionally and physically because of someone else's bad choices.

I hope some of these posts will help women understand what domestic abuse actually is. He's not just being an asshole. That's too generous a term when he deliberately and slyly finds a way to hurt you repeatedly, either physically or emotionally. Abusers are clever. They know how to make it seem like they didn't mean to do it. Or they pretend they didn't know it would hurt you. THEY DO KNOW. They think you're too stupid to figure them out, and they delight in pulling the wool over your eyes because this feeds their humongous egos. In the meantime, you're trying to figure out how to help him. Or sympathising because he had a bad childhood.

You guys that marry safe make me feel sad. Financial security does sound nice, I married for love, but my husband became ill and we are not. I fear losing him in the near future. I hate being a mess financially, that security is important to me. But we do not lead a boring suburban life, which is also important to me. I think the one poster has a great point - you can think you are marrying safe (I did on one hand think my DH was going to provide that too) but you never know what can happen. People cheat and change, get sick, lose jobs. Maybe not marrying, or perhaps women need to have a way to provide for themselves, too. I don't like the idea of "relying on a man to take care of me" anyway. If DH dies, I'll be alright financially. Emotionally? No. Still, I can't imagine a "business arrangement" marriage with a guy with no feelings. Wow.

I married safe. This is what it means to me, in my situation. My DH is a nice guy, good father. He makes about $200K a year. He didn't make that much when we married, but he was making a decent salary and I knew the potential was there to make a lot more. He already owned a house. Although I love him, I don't think I was ever in love with him. There were never any fireworks. There were never butterflies or a huge attraction to him. He's more like a roommate or friend. I feel like, at least for me, my marriage was more of a business deal. I knew I would have financial and emotional security.

To me, marrying safe means that you choose a partner who isn't exactly a good fit for you, but keeps you safe either financially or emotionally. I think it means compromising your happiness for a false sense of security. I didn't marry safe. I married a man I met on the internet. He isn't wealthy, but he loves me and rocks my world. My family freaked when they learned how we met but we're approaching our 5 year anniversary and couldn't be happier. I had gone through a divorce and wasn't willing to ever sacrifice my happiness again. My husband is my sexy, bad-boy looking, sweet, kind, soft place to fall. I feel lucky everyday that I met him, but I know that I'm the one who is responsible for my emotional security.