I used to you, OP. One day I finally just had enough. I have a bad back and can't really exercise so I joined My Fitness Pal, it's free, and started logging my calories. I've lost 75 lbs with zero exercise. Start by making small changes, nothing drastic. Slow and steady. It might take a long time but so what? The time will pass you by either way, it's either still be fat or headed toward a goal weight. I still weigh and log all my foods, and it's fast and easy. Less than 10 min out of my day.

Am i crying about my weight while eating blueberry pie and custard? Yes. Don't ask me what I'm going to do about it. The more I try, the more I weigh. I've got back fat, saggy chin, puffy face, eyelids that look like a frog's, and an ass with more hills than the Pyrenees. And every exercise I try triggers tension migraines. I need a body trade-in program.

I've always kept myself fit. When I met H 10 years ago, I weighed 135. I now weigh 165. He's a meat and potatoes guy, always expecting/cooking big, heavy meals, and wanting dessert every night. Plus he wants to eat out a lot. We're in our 50s now and I'm really unhappy and uncomfortable with the extra weight, but he doesn't want me to lose any. He literally said, "when a woman is heavy is shows she's happy," and also that he doesn't want me to lose my boobs. I told him it wasn't his choice. Today, I worked out and then took a shower and a nap. When I woke up, he said he had a surprise for me - it was a big bowl of ice cream with sprinkles, caramel sauce and cookies. If I didn't eat it, there would be a fight. So I ate it, then went to the bathroom and made myself throw up :(

Now that things are opening back up and I'm seeing friends again, I'm slowing gaining weight. It was so easy to maintain during the pandemic, but now I'm back to drinking and snacking and the numbers are creeping up. I thought I used to lose weight just by upping my activity level, but maybe that doesn't work anymore now that I'm pre-menopausal? I went on a 8 mile hike yesterday, and then ate small portions of sautéed veggies and tofu when I got home. Since I was still hungry, I had another small portion. Still hungry, so another. I ate over 1,000 calories during the next 2 hours. And still felt kinda hungry! How does this work again? I thought I was being smart, eating high fiber, high nutrient dinner with a good amount of protein and a touch of fat.

What's wrong with me? I have muscle aches all the time. I'm afraid that if I tell my doctor they will just tell me to lose weight, but it's not my knees. It's everything else, all the time. I'm exhausted. I don't think this is depression. I've been depressed. It's probably fibromyalgia, which I haven't talked to my doctor about in a long time, even though she diagnosed me. I just don't take pills for it. But yeah, it shouldn't hurt when your dog licks your foot. It shouldn't hurt to wear pajamas. It shouldn't be this hard to walk around the house. I'm tired of it. When I mentioned Fibro at my last appointment she acted like I don't have it anymore. I was like, okay. But really, I just haven't mentioned it to her in ten years. Not the same thing. I don't talk about it because it sounds crazy.

And I am feeling extremely stagnant and stuck because his ex-business partner just bought a $300k house, they have 3 kids, and his wife doesn't have to work- she doesn't even cook or clean. And my old coworker is now a single mom by choice, making $100k a year, and has every other weekend kid free. Meanwhile, I do everything except get paid, and all I have to show for it are new wrinkles and extra weight from the stress of trying to keep everything afloat.

I need to lose at least 15 pounds, so today I decided to grill some zucchini chips for lunch. Naturally, I followed them up with a bowl of chocolate cereal because I don't take my weight loss goals seriously. *sigh*

What's wrong with me: Emergency appendicitis surgery. After which my TMJ has been so bad I can't open my mouth all the way. Oh, and so far I'm 18K in debt to the hospital. That I know of. I'm sure there's more coming because everybody that touches you sends a separate bill. I don't have insurance, but that doesn't really matter anyway. When I did have insurance they refused every damn thing I tried to claim and the deductible was 15K, max out of pocket was 30K/yr. That was the only policy we could afford. Even on the marketplace. It would have been way cheaper to bury me. My husband says I'm worth the money but I'm not so sure. Very depressed. Still can't eat normally. Still can't wear real pants because of incisions. Lost another 5lbs too. Officially underweight. Can't afford a TMJ specialist. I'm feeling so sorry for myself it's difficult to breathe. Kind of wishing I'd refused to go to the hospital at all.

I can't convince my dog to eat more even though the vet tells me I need to try to get her weight up. I can't convince myself to eat more either even though my therapist has labeled my anorexia as "severe" now. FML. Why can't I realize I need to fucking eat???

I used to do OMAD too....I could eat a huge ass meal at dinner and it would keep me going until the next night. But as I got older, I couldn't physically eat that much anymore so I had to start moving my food around a bit but I have lost weight doing that despite eating a bit more food. Metabolisms are weird sometimes. I also have to make sure I lift a few times a week or I know I'm losing muscle mass. Getting old sucks big time.