This is gonna be long. My parents are classic gas lighting narcissists. I still love them, and can't stand for them to be unhappy with me, but they made growing up pure hell. I'm 23 yrs old, and my mentality is still stuck in the horrors of 7th grade. My h hates my parents. I try o make everyone happy, but I'm failing miserably. I just had somewhat of a nervous breakdown and my h is now asking for a break. He put me through hell when we got married, but he's a MUCH better man now.unfortunately, hes tired of trying to help fix me. So I am alone. I don't know what I want out of life. I don't know what my purpose is if it isn't to make dh and Ds happy. I am broken. I don't know how to fix it. I have spent my whole life fixing, and now I'm broken and I can't pick up the pieces. I have nobody to help me now. The only reason I'm still here is for Ds, and I'm terrified I'll break him too.

Growing up my mom was a cusser. She didn't just cuss, she cussed AT her kids. So, things like "F*** you" and "You are nothing but a b****" was pretty standard growing up. It always hurt because I knew that cussing at your kids wasn't the right thing to go.She was on drugs and would snap. She would get in MY face like I was one of her friends. Imagine a drugged old woman getting in her 14 year old daughter's face as if she was going to fight her. God, she smelled. Now that we are older and I am moved away I can do nothing but roll my eyes at my mom when she posts on facebook and puts up those pictures like "I love my kids. Like if you do to!" or does martyred posts online or tells me about my siblings while not making herself sound if she did NOTHING wrong but I know how she baits people. I know how she gets and all I can do is roll my eyes and take things with a grain of salt.

True Dad sounded like many of the gripes I over head from men IRL.. Wife complains he isn't making enough money. He's gained too much weight but she can eat a whole pint of ice cream every week even though she gained a lot of weight and won't shut up about it or exercise. Get into an argument, he tries to walk away and she follows and keeps screaming like a nut case. She wants to go to a male strip club but he isn't allowed to go to one himself. Having kids sucks. Can't wait to leave. Wants to drive away and never come back. Only wants sex when she's got baby fever. It was not much different than TMC only with differing genders. Women were "in tears" reading that stuff (yet I'm sure men loved reading how the women on TMC wanted to kick many in the nuts or punch them in the face) so it was nice seeing the double standard get put out in the open.

I get to hang out with Bobby Lopez this weekend! I keep promising my self I won't fangirl him. I've loved his work since Avenue Q, and I'm on a HUGE Frozen kick right now.

I wish I were in love with my husband again: he's a good man, but lazy and self centered, he's lost me.

I love alone time. I only have three social things planned for the whole month and it's plenty.

My DH loves when I do assplay. I mean, if I can fit something in there, he's game. I don't find it very sexy but it makes him so happy I just find things to jam up his butthole. You'd never guess it, looking at him.

I am craving some lady love now that you mention it. Time to bring someone home for us.

There was a girl in school who was horrible to me for years. She was so mean. And yet I loved her name. It was Jillian. I still think it's a lovely name, but she ruined it for me.

I love this site! I think it's better than Truu