A really good thing happened to a dear friend of mine who just recovered from cancer. And I am feeling jealous and bitter that so many amazing things happened to her during the treatment process - so much love from friends and support - and now this really wonderful thing, too. And I know that were I in the same situation, none of that would happen for me. And so I'm feeling bitter and jealous. That's my confession. I know. I'm a horrible person. I AM happy for her, and I'm among those who were there for her during the treatment, but I had to confess my jealousy somewhere. I hate feeling jealous. Hate it.

I gave up Coke Zero in early December. I've had it 2 or 3 times since then. I'm not going to get a lot of sleep tonight, so I bought two bottles as a treat and to help me stay awake. And I still love it just as much as before! Missed this.

I saw my old adviser today, and she wasn't critical of me at all! She was lovely, and complimentary, and we had an awesome time together. It was a truly great day. I'm so glad our relationship has changed!

I am so frustrated with my brother. He has been separated from his bitch of a wife for 9 months now. She's shacked up with another guy and pregnant already (not my brother's). They have no children together. This divorce should NOT be as complicated as he is trying to make it. Uncontested. No kids or property to deal with. He talks all the time about how he want to end things (they were only married for 3 month before they split) and how he wants it to be over. SIGN THE DAMN PAPERS ALREADY. I printed them out for you! Just sign them and get it over with! The wife came over yesterday evening and started a fight with our mother.... god just get the poison out!!!! He's dating someone else and totally in love, not hung up on her at all. He's just being lazy and it's driving me crazy. We were all so close and now half our mutual friends won't speak to me. I just wish he would get this over with.

Dh's family loves our son. They ask about him, play with him when we visit, and are overall nice grandparents to him. My family absolutely adores him. My inlaws are happy to see pictures occasionally while my family almost demands at least one picture daily. My family would gladly babysit him almost any time (within reason) simply for the chance to spend time with him while dh's parents would only agree to have us "owe" them something later, or to tell everyone else he spent the whole time begging them to adopt him. It breaks my heart that when dh gets out of the military we will be living in the same state as his family and so very far from mine... We've talked about moving to my state but dh has said there are certain things about it he really doesn't like, and I think in the long run he will grow to hate living there. The only thing about his state that I'd really change is the fact that my family isn't there...

Oh, I just love having lost the weight and showing up at conventions where there are old colleagues who only know me as that chubby girl. Now I'm thinner than all of them, and frankly, am dressed better. I'm as nice to them as I can be, though they have no idea how to handle me now. The fat girl inside of me is squealing in delight.

Nope, I dont have enough to do so I'd love to do your work too!!!

I've been a stay at home mom for ten years. I've argued and argued and argued with all of my heart that being a mom should be enough for any woman. I was looking so forward to the time in my life when it was just me at home during the day--to have peace and quiet to fold the laundry, prep meals, bake lots of lovely things for teachers and bus drivers, and show up at my husband's office for lunch a couple of times a week. My youngest has been in kindergarten since September. Both kids are in school 6.5 hours a day. I am bored out of my flipping mind! I spend an hour or two a day chatting with neighbors at Starbucks. I've reorganized my home and decluttered everything. I go for weekly manicures. I go to the gym every day. I guess I just don't feel useful anymore. This is in NO WAY criticizing other mamas who stay home. I wish I enjoyed relaxing. I wish I enjoyed sitting around enjoying the smell of my clean house. I just don't. Unfortunately, getting a job is not ideal for me, because I have to be available for my kids during the day, I need to have freedom to stay home if they are sick. I'm looking into online grad school--and mostly just to give myself deadlines, not that I want to do any particular job!

I often share things with my DH about work and when good things are happening. I tell him when my boss or his boss give great feedback. Today I shared that the client who is in office observed a class I was teaching told me I was doing great and he was really impressed. Then later commented that I was smart when showing my boss how to do something. Thing is when I shared he started commenting that I had a crush on the guy and acting jealous. Truth is, he is actually hot but I have zero interest other than joking with my cw that he is eye candy. I'm married and have no interest in pursuing anything outside of my marriage. Things are rough with DH and I but I would never cheat. Even so, I'd never put my job in danger as I love it too much. Wish he'd realize that an attractive client who comes to town twice a year is no threat to us but the hurtful things he's done and said over the last 2 years that he refuses to acknowledge do. It kills me that after 14 years together I've never cheated, never given any indication yet the lack of trust is quite evident.

I love this time when everyone is asleep.