My DH had a nervous breakdown/severe manic episode the last few weeks. Mainly because he actually had to get up for a job and start working full time after being laid off for a year. I don't understand his whole mindset right now. He claims he wants a job where he has to work 3 months a year and make $90K. Damn dude, so do I. But I know it's not realistic and I work my mediocre $60K a year job 40 hours a week and suck it up and deal with it. His new job isn't even that bad; it's a 5 minute commute and he acts like it's SO effin' hard to get up at 6am. Grow the eff up dude.

He sent me a selfie of him out in nature with his dogs. I usually feel really tense around dogs after having a bad childhood exp., but some part of me just really softened. It caught me off guard. I'm not sure why he's in my life, but I'm just going to enjoy it.

It's hard to get some space when he is texting me. I said I would back off a bit on Tue which he agreed, but he texted on Wed and I wrote back quickly (ugh, bad habit). Then didn't hear from him until today (Sat) when texted to ask how I was doing. I wrote back again very quickly since I liked the attn feeling of someone thinking of me. He texted back a reply, but this time I did not respond back. I need to try to stick to my boundaries. I'm letting go for healing to flow.

The humidity in my house is 79%, it's 95F out but the heat index is 115. AC is on 71 but it won't go lower than 75. My landlord had a cheap central air system put in, so it does not help with the humidity at all, in fact it sweats out of the vents & along the ceiling there is water spots. Inside feels more like 90 than 75. H thinks I did something to the digital thermostat to make it hotter in here. I told him no I didn't, what he is feeling is the humidity cus yesterday it was 52% inside, now it's 79%. He said "Well you did something cus I notice the difference". I told him "No I didn't, you don't understand the difference in humidity % is why you feel hotter" He slammed his fists on the table and yelled "You don't need to repeat yourself! All I know is you did something to it!" and walked out of the room. Also, our windows are like 70 years old and leak so bad even dirt flies in (they're closed). Since he's a jerk I'm not cooking the chicken parm he's been anxiously waiting for.

Hospitals should set aside a certain percentage of ICU beds for unvaccinated (by choice) COVID patients. When those are full, any new unvaccinated COVID patients need to find somewhere else that still has some of those beds available. If there are none, oh well. ICU beds in my city, in a very red state, are full of COVID patients again, 95% of whom are unvaccinated. They are having to send accident victims and such to hospitals in other cities. Nope. Should not be doing that. They should unplug one of the Spreadnecks and send them somewhere else. If they don't make it, then that's too bad. But we'll send them thoughts and prayers.

Any unbiased definitions and in depth conversations about critical race theory? I can find heavily biased articles from both conservatives and liberals, but nothing explaining what it actually is and whether or not it's good or bad.

I realize that this makes me a horrible person, but if you refuse to get the vaccine, and you get sick, I really don't feel bad for you. And I'm not talking about the folks who can't get the vaccine, I'm talking about the ones who can but just just refuse because "freedom" or think COVID is no big deal

Part 3- I don't speak to any of my siblings. None of them have ever reached out to ask me why. My brother sent me a text for my birthday and for the first time in ten years I told him- I wish you well, but a lot of things happened while Dad was dying, and you have never tried to make it right. For the next hour, we texted back and forth and all I got was defensiveness and excuses. At one point he said- I see there is no forgiveness in you, and I said What there IS in me is self-respect, and I don't put up with the kind of treatment I received from you. The three of them, my brother and two sisters, are people you can only have a relationship with if you are willing to put up with mistreatment and bad behavior. I'm not. I wish I still had a family, but not like that. I used to believe in Family First no matter what, but nobody ever put me first except me. So yeah, one email, and I'm back in all my old feelings, but it will pass. Thanks for listening.

I found out last night that my husband uses my vagina razor on his head. WTF. He doesn't get why this upset me so badly! But it really set me off. I have literally NOTHING that is JUST mine. I have to share my car, I have NO space in the house that is just for me, I have to share my body with everyone in the house. I don't even get to shower alone bc H is in the shower with me! There is nothing I get to do that is just for *me*. Nobody respects my space or personal items. I'm just so over it. Does that make me a selfish bitch? Maybe I'm just weird.

I quit drinking a few years ago because I got really sick. I couldn't have had a drink even if I wanted to. I was sick for almost a year, but I never drank again, eve though I totally could now. When I stopped drinking, it made me see how bad it really was. And I didn't even drink that much. If you have a couple glasses of wine, you think you're fine. You're not. Anyone who's not drinking can tell. You are a little louder, a little more brazen. Nothing outrageous, but it affects you. And not in a good way. Kids notice this. Kids hear the wine o'clock and Mommy's Juice Box jokes. Honestly, when I kind of saw the behavior from the outside, it was sad. And embarassing. I'm ashamed that I behaved like that. And I don't want my kids to think it's OK.