I think I can see both sides to the marriage thing. I did make some serious vows when I got married but so did my DH. Sometimes, a person does things that make you a really bad version of yourself. And if that's the case, you aren't being fair to yourself or the other person by staying married. My good friend got divorced because she was sick of being married. Her DH was a good guy, but had stopped attending to her emotional needs and she asked for a divorce. I think marriage is highly overrated for women because more often than not, we get the short end of the stick in the relationship. Too many men out there don't like a spouse who earns more than them, is smarter than they are, or who won't wait on them hand and foot. Until men change and get better, they better get used to the good women out there leaving them to live their best lives.

You know who's NOT shooting up the country? Women. But we're the ones who are "too emotional" to handle political office or leadership positions. **Stole this from FB**

I ask this out of pure curiosity, not snarkiness..how is it a biological issue and not an emotional one? You physically don't have to keep eating, I would think the desire to binge is mostly in your head, not a physical symptom? I apologize if it sounds bitchy or like I'm judging, because I'm not. I'm just curious.

DH had his regular check up today. His doc wants him to have a CT to rule out lung cancer. The whole lying to us about quitting thing seems so petty now. Yet I’m going through an emotional gauntlet.....mad at him for not quitting, and wondering how the hell I could go on without him.

Therapy didn't work because I think it's more of a biological problem than an emotional one. That's why some medications work for a while, but your body becomes tolerant to them and they don't work anymore. But since most people can just stop eating at a certain point, they think everyone else can too, so I think there is this attitude that I can stop if I just wanted to. So I think new treatments are not researched or developed. In fact, two of the medications I've been on weren't even covered by insurance because it's wasn't considered a true medical issue. One was but only because it is actually an anti-seizure medication that happens to work for binge eating disorder as a side effect.

First of all, let's take a deep breath. My understanding is that people in the racial justice movement are not asking white women to stop talking, but to be conscious of how much space we are taking up. So I try to check myself on that, especially when it comes to talking about my emotional response to new information and ideas. I can use my privilege to support this movement, but I have to remember that they don't need my "help." They know what they are doing. What I can do is make space for their work. So I'm sorry if someone made you feel bad, or like you were told to STFU. Sharing power takes some getting used to. Try not to take it personally. If you really care about social justice, and I believe that you do, take a deep breath and just remember that this is a journey. It brings up a lot of emotions, but POC are not responsible for helping us work through those emotions. Keep listening, keep reflecting, keep seeking information, and don't give up.

Oh ffs... read a fucking book before spouting your uneducated bullshit. Empirical evidence beats your opinion, emotional response, and whatever the hell you've heard from friends, family, the internet, or Fox news regarding racism and BLM. I swear to Christ, some people here make me roll my eyes so hard, I get a view of the back of my skull. Until you're educated on violence and inequality, STFU.

People have motives for lying. I lied to my ex husband about quitting smoking. I often smoked behind his back, because quitting for me was a bitch and he had the temperament of an angry ten year old and it would have led to me being screamed at and being emotional blackmailed. Fuck yeah, he was part of the problem. I lied to him out of fear. Relationships are complicated. For those of y'all who live in black and white worlds, more power to ya. I live in reality, where shit is messy. Sidenote: now that I'm remarried to a man who properly communicates, I've quit smoking. He knew about every relapse, and will know if I start again in the future. If your spouse won't talk to you about something, there's likely some fear there, and you probably play a role in that. Just because that doesn't fit your narrative, doesn't mean it isn't true. If there's one thing I took away from marriage counseling, it was to own your part in the relationship.

These guys aren't just being annoying. It's purposeful emotional abuse. They get off on taking away your happiness. Run.

It's my birthday and I've been thinking feeling emotional and thinking about my ex a lot more. We have birthdays around the same time. I'm wondering if he's thinking of me at all today. It's been about a year since we broke up in a pretty messy way. Anyway, I'm just sending him thanks here for some lessons he's taught me. I know it's weird, but I can't text him. One of those I realized this past weekend while out with friends. Thanks, DC.