You sonuva bitch. You talk about these relatives of yours like they're relatives of mine. OMG I could injure you. I don't know who you're talking about. WHO WOULD HAVE TOLD ME ABOUT THESE PEOPLE?!?!?! There was no one to even ask. And how would I know it was even something I should ask about? Oh, I come from Germany? Really? I had no idea, I thought I was French. And for you to casually mention this? Like it's some funny family anecdote? What family? I have NEVER been invited to a single holiday, not one wedding, not a single reunion. For you to show up like this NOW that you're an old man and I am fifty years old. My GOD how I hate you. You and your stoic sour wife are part of why I've been broken my whole life. Why I can't be normal.

You know what? Eff you. This is what you get. Try to act like we're related NOW after all these years? YOU and every single one of my other aunts and uncles ABANDONED me. You know what I remember? I remember your WIFE talking about how I had a stain on my dress at the funeral. I don't remember much about being a child at all (because I never really got to BE ONE) but I remember that. I remember that. I had just turned 8 years old and I was attending my mother's funeral. And your sour faced wife made a comment about a stain on my dress. Then everyone left. LEFT. Left me there. Alone. With my dad. My next memory is cleaning vomit off the floor of his bedroom. My next memory is pouring out bottles of liquor and praying I could get it done before he woke up. YOU BASTARD. Don't act like we're related now.

2 years ago, I asked my mom to please call before she comes over. Prior to that, she would just show up at any time and walk in. One night I caught her watching me and my H sleeping bc I had only called her once that day. So yeah, I set a boundary after entirely too long. Today, after TWO YEARS of fairly normal (for her) interactions, I get a call, voicemail, and text asking to "set an appointment" to come over to give me something. I'm so tired.

Weight loss was slow over the holidays but as of today I have lost 35 lbs. I'm 6 lbs from my goal weight! It's taken me seven months, but I'm doing it!

I've been depressed for literal weeks now. I've usually snapped out of it after a week or two and hit a manic phase and get a shit ton of stuff done. But I can't get out of this hole. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't get anything done, and my kids (and probably H too) are suffering because I can't pull myself together. I'm just so tired of being alive. If I didn't have anybody that needed me, I would probably just off myself. But I can't do that, even when they grow up, because losing a parent is the worst fucking feeling and that pain doesn't stop. So I just have to keep living with myself and it sucks. I hate it here.

Same girl, same.

One of my toxic traits is that if I work out, I eat 3x the food. If I don't work out, I don't eat. So... I still weigh the same. Fun.

Also, my state doesn't offer assistance until the divorce is finalized. So my "income" for food stamps or housing assistance would be based on his income. I hate it here.

I want a divorce. Problems with that- I would have no job since we currently run his business together; no car; no family or paid childcare outside of school schedules; no school bus schedules for the kid's schools; no money or recent work experience aside from self-employment; probably not an amicable divorce and I have nowhere to go. Yes, I'm aware I've backed myself into a very deep hole. Any career ideas that I could get started with? I've applied for every remote position I can find for the last 3 months, but unfortunately, I live in a rural area where remote work really hasn't caught on and I'm not getting responses despite all these "desperate to hire" business advertisements.

H: "Why are you so angry lately? I don't get it." Me: "Because you don't do ANYTHING except go to work. You don't even try to figure anything out, you just throw it at me. If the kids want something, you shout at them and send them away and wait for me to fix it and then ask me why they don't like you. Because it's constantly, 'Oh, you're so wonderful for cooking and cleaning and figuring everything out for me because I'm stupid.'" Yes, you really are stupid! Or you pretend to be so that I will just do it for you because I'm sick of fucking dealing with an idiotic adult and 2 kids that aren't developed enough to figure things out on their own, and I'm having to deal with you not parenting. And his only response is "well I guess I just don't try enough." And slam the door and give me the silent treatment. I'm tired of being married to a child while raising children. I literally cannot see myself spending the rest of my life with that man. I can't.