Posted by: anonymous

2017-01-26 20:23:51

ID: 44447

Not every stay at home mom is in a precarious financial situation but many are. That's why I think it's important to teach our girls to be able to take care of themselves, just in case anything should happen. I have a good friend she's 55 years old has been a stay home wife and mother for her entire adult life. Her marriage is really really bad right now, her husband has turned into a complete asshole and she is afraid to leave. It breaks my heart every time we talk. she did get a college degree but only worked for a few years. Her skill set is way outdated by this time and companies in her field are going to hire younger workers, not people her age. She's not gonna be able to support herself on a minimum wage salary. Even if they split the house and all their belongings it's not like her husband was ever a very rich to begin with. Her kids are busy with raising their own children and can't take her in. She feels very trapped.

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Posted by: anonymous

2017-01-26 19:00:55

ID: 44442

The average annual salary for a full-time nanny is about $36,000. So if you are staying home doing all the things a nanny would do, then you are basically earning a $36,000 salary.

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Posted by: anonymous

2017-01-26 18:45:11

ID: 44427

i don't think SAH wives or moms are stupid at all. everyone's situation is different. just speaking for myself and myself alone - i wouldn't feel right not being able to contribute financially to my household. yes, i know that isn't the only way to contribute but but it's just how i feel. i'm independent-minded and i worked my ass off for my career which i love and I wouldn't feel right having my husband be the sole breadwinner. before anyone jumps down my throat, i just want to reiterate that I am only speaking for myself and not making assumptions about anyone else's feelings, relationships or financial status. please do whatever option works best for you and your family.

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Posted by: anonymous

2017-01-26 18:44:28

ID: 44412

I love my bf but I think he's cheating on me. We've been together almost 7 years now but the past year things have been rocky between us cause I've put so much effort into our relationship and doing nice things for him when he barely gives me any thought when it comes to gift giving and recognizing me other than on my birthday and Valentine's day. He's been distant, found that he's clearing the history on our computer and all of a sudden he's working lots of overtime yet he's hiding his paychecks from me, though I haven't asked to see them but I tore apart the house looking for them but I can't find them. All of a sudden he's working odd hours too. I'm doubting myself, maybe I'm just overreacting but I know I should trust my gut instinct.

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Posted by: anonymous

2017-01-26 14:06:31

ID: 44425

My point with sharing my step-sister's story was that you can't assume all (or even most) SAHMs are stupid. You have no idea what someone's financial situation is. I see a lot of people here assuming that all SAHMs are screwed if they need to leave, which is not true. I know a ton of working moms who would be screwed if they got divorced. They have built a life around two incomes and would have no way to afford their house, neighborhood, car, private schools, etc. without their husband's income, even though they may have successful careers too.

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Posted by: anonymous

2017-01-26 00:30:00

ID: 44390

Yes, because she planned, got an education and a career before having children, and did not put herself in a position of getting stuck with a husband she didnt want because of money. She looked after her best interests, she's smart.

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Posted by: anonymous

2017-01-25 23:13:28

ID: 44396

My DH is the most depressing person to talk to sometimes. He comes home from work and whines about how crappy his day was. He stays up late just arguing with me about politics and talking about various mechanic-stuff he's working on in the garage (sorry, DH, but I do not give a damn about gear ratios, torque, or whatever else you are yammering about). He never just wants to talk about anything light-hearted. He's always analyzing every single thing that happens and he's just exhausting to listen to. I need some better people to just chat with. People who don't constantly make me feel on edge and exhausted.

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Posted by: anonymous

2017-01-25 22:46:53

ID: 44394

Your step-sister sounds just like us, only DH and I aren't planning to divorce. I realize things could get ugly at some point if it were to happen, but I have a solid family support system-places to go, ways to get an income, etc.Not everyone has that and I agree it is very wise to think of your future. I do plan to work again once my kids don't need daycare, being a SAHM is not my long term plan.

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Posted by: anonymous

2017-01-25 22:27:08

ID: 44392

I wrote the confession this is a response to. I agree completely about not combining finances. I'm in the process of divorcing my exh and we had only joint accounts and it made for trouble our entire marriage. He also used it to fund a 6 month affair before leaving me. While I trust my boyfriend completely I won't ever open myself up to that again... I mean, I did trust my ex completely and look how that worked out. I know my boyfriend was joking though, he barely lets me buy my own lunch when we are together...he wouldn't let me pay for a vacation anywhere without big resistance.

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Posted by: anonymous

2017-01-25 20:51:56

ID: 44386

You can be a SAHM and still be OK financially. My step-sister went through a divorce about 2 years ago. The kids were both in elementary school. She has a college degree and had a solid career for 10 years before leaving the workforce when her oldest was born. She's in a community property state, so she knew she was entitled to half of everything. ALL accounts were in both of their names, investment, bank, credit card, college savings, etc. They had separate IRAs just because they could contribute more to them that way, but the amounts were equal. Because her name was on everything. She always knew how much was in them. When she was going to leave, she saved all the statements in case he decided to start pulling money out (courts would give half of what was in them before to her). She got half of everything (including the proceeds of the house) + child support. She was able to go back to work pretty easily, and her lifestyle is pretty much the same as before the divorce.

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