You can be a SAHM and still be OK financially. My step-sister went through a divorce about 2 years ago. The kids were both in elementary school. She has a college degree and had a solid career for 10 years before leaving the workforce when her oldest was born. She's in a community property state, so she knew she was entitled to half of everything. ALL accounts were in both of their names, investment, bank, credit card, college savings, etc. They had separate IRAs just because they could contribute more to them that way, but the amounts were equal. Because her name was on everything. She always knew how much was in them. When she was going to leave, she saved all the statements in case he decided to start pulling money out (courts would give half of what was in them before to her). She got half of everything (including the proceeds of the house) + child support. She was able to go back to work pretty easily, and her lifestyle is pretty much the same as before the divorce.