PART 2 - But instead of saying that, I told him I would have advised him not to resign (I'm in HR). I said I didn't think the gov't would actually pay folks until September like they are saying they will. And while all of that is true, that's not what he needed to hear. What he needed was reassurance and someone to listen and tell him it will all work out. He knows the potential risks, but feels it's not as risky as staying where he is. I'm afraid I wasn't a very good friend. And I feel horrible about that. His wife works, but knowing what she does, she doesn't make much. Not nearly enough to live on. I've written out a text apologizing 10 times but haven't sent it. I don't know what to say. This whole situation, for all of us, is so incredibly shitty.

PART ! - Huge turn of events. Boss resigned. He took the gov't offer to voluntarily resign. Because of the agency he worked for, there was a good chance his job would be cut, so he took the offer. However, before he did that, I had jokingly said there was a job at my contracting co supporting my agency (his old agency) that he's be great for. Well, I just forwarded his resume for it. So, he may be coming back to my agency. This whole fed gov't worker thing is just horrible. For everyone. We've been texting pretty regularly since our call. Well, he called me today to tell me he resigned. That's heavy shit. And I hate my reaction. I should have just listened and told him everything will be ok (cont'd)

Wow, an hour and a half? That's a long time for catching up. I hope he does come back and you get to see him more. At the same time, not the best idea to see him more, ya know? Sounds like he feels something there too, but he's a decent guy and doesn't want to be disrespectful to your or his wife.

Still not sure where Boss will be working. This whole return to work thing is a complete clusterf*ck. It's logistically impossible for everyone who is remote to go back to an office. Like there's physically not enough space. You can't get 5000 people in a building that holds 800. So no one knows exactly how it will be handled. But he will for sure return somewhere & there's probably a 50/50 chance it will be our old office. BUT he called me & we talked for an hour and a half. Nothing groundbreaking, just work & catching up, but it was so nice to hear his voice. Nothing flirty, but when I suggested he reach out to someone from the old team re: office space, he did say something about I'm the only one he wants to talk to. Just makes me feel special. I won't know more for a few weeks, but hopefully I will get to see him soon. And yes, both still married.

Oh wow, could be exciting, OP! Maybe it's the universe's way of getting you closer to him again. Is he still married? Are you?

Holy shit, y'all. Huge Boss update. We really hadn't talked at all, sort of the occasional text, which had gotten less frequent. We work for the gov't. He's a gov't employee, I'm a contractor. He left to go to another agency. Long story short, due to the federal return to work orders, he may be going back to our old office. Apparently his agency leases space there, so it's an option for him. I will still work from home, since the orders don't affect contractors. But he reached out to me to tell me & ask if I could help make those arrangements if he needs to go back. Basically, if/when he has to go back to the office, I would be able to go see him whenever I wanted. And I would have to go in & meet him there to get him set up.

Yep that makes sense, although what is wrong with old coworkers/ friends meeting to catch up? I wonder what, if anything, his wife thinks? Maybe she suspects something and discourages him from staying in touch--you know how us women have that intuition. Although I think heart emojis are very telling. I almost divorced my dh once because he was texting a coworker and using them and I personally found it very upsetting. But, I digress. If he's setting up boundaries then he knows theres something there.

There may be some truth to missing the idea of him, but I will say that I do genuinely miss him as a person. We just instantly connected on a personal level, and he truly is one of my favorite people on the planet. I will also say that I think he is probably kind of setting up some boundries. It was one thing when we had to talk and meet all the time because of work. But now, it would be for totally personal reasons, and I can see how that's crossing a line or could lead to crossing a line, considering we are both married. My husband and I both have old co-workers, men and women, that we keep in touch with, get together with for lunch occaissionally, etc. and it doesn't bother either of us in the least. Never has. But I know that some people/spouses may not be OK with that. Don't agree with it, but know that it's not uncommon to not be OK with having friends/meet-ups with people of the opposite sex. That may be the case with his marriage.

It sounds kind of like you miss the idea of him more than him as a person, if that makes sense .. someone to flirt with, someone who looked forward to talking to you, etc., especially if your new job is kinda boring, people wise. If your marriage is boring/stale/over, then the grass will always been greener somewhere else. It grows where you water it.

cont'd 2/2 - Part of me thinks if he really missed me, he would have reached out by now. But then part of me is thinking that he is thinking the same thing about me. Even though he's no longer with the company, Teams saves our old chats. I went back and read all of them a couple weeks ago. I just miss him. He would always be online before me, but the minute my status chaged every morning, he would send me a good morning message, and we would chat and joke around. My new position is fine, and the salary is substantially more, but it's just fine. Everyone's nice, but no one jokes around much or anything. It's just a very different culture. And no one's waiting and excited to "see" me every morning.