Basement Cleanout Rant Pt 2- Why is the tool bench covered with books? Why is the Christmas tree stand outside? Why aren't the tent, the sleeping bags, and the cooler in ONE PLACE? Why aren't any of the boxes labeled? I am sorting things on the patio because there is no room to move down there. He says we can't leave things out there over night. If he put this crap back down in the basement, I am going to murder him, LOL

Relationship Rant- Cleaning out the basement! I do my best to keep our home organized. I tidy the cupboards, clean out the closet, and do my best to store things in a logical way with shelves, bins, and baskets. I just cleaned out my bathroom, clothes closet, linen closet, and drawers. I've been telling my husband I'd like to tackle the basement, which his kind of his territory and is not organized in any way. He keeps saying he will do it. Well, I've been telling him that I am going to do it myself. I found things in there that I just got rid of! You can't get to anything. There are magazines, old bills, empty boxes- it's awful! I'm just calmly taking it one thing at a time, but he keeps saying- I'll do that! I'll take that to work! I'm ready to kill him.

So, the exciting move I had into my friend's house completely blindsided me when it feel through 2 weeks before I was scheduled to end my lease at my current apartment (7/30 was move day). What were a series of layered miscommunications stacked on top with many triggers really came to its breaking point these last few days. This led to about 4-5 extremely hurtful paragraphs long text threads. The kicker was when I apologized several times early on in the texts, said let's talk about this in-person, but she continued to go off. Ok, stopped engaging because no longer was a conversation back and forth. I was majorly triggered my wounded child who felt defenseless when abused. Right now, I have space and clarity on the issues, but don't even know if I want to repair this friendship even if we've been friends for 17 years. I will be own up and be responsible for my part of the conflict, but she better be damn willing to take care of hers. If she doesn't, then I'm done.

I am learning that it's been years since he was last in a relationship like 8 years. I am truly loving his energy and what he brings, but I also know I need to work on the relationship I have with myself. I want to finally heal from my last painful relationship 3 years ago.

Finally got my Dad into an assisted living facility yesterday! DH (who’s my freakin’ hero!) worked his ass off for three days, helping me pack, driving Dad around, helping with the move-in, cleaning out his storage facility then driving everything to a donation site. I cleaned his old place then did the walk-through with management, and made sure everyone was fed for three days. We spent $200 for two nights in a hotel, bought him new sheets and a comforter, and began unpacking at his new place. My brother was 100% MIA….until today, when he took him lunch (did I mention he’s paying for three restaurant-style meals every day at the new place?). He also unpacked six (out of 31) remaining boxes. He sent me a text thanking DH and I for ‘picking up the slack.’ What a load of crap! My relationship with my brother ended today.

I randomly met him on an app by attending one of Live classes. I had popped into his class one before but it felt too chaotic with his instruments all over the place. But for some reason that time I stayed and have been lovin' his classes ever since. He does a variety of music, reflection, and fun exercises to engage the audience. He's truly a master facilitator something I'd love to learn more about. Then we started messaging multiple times a day, I took his Zoom improv class, and later spoke on the phone. I think it must have been weird for him to only have connection through long online messages but no clear idea of what I looked like then actually seeing me on Zoom. He said he was taking me all in. I really didn't know how to react to that. But I'm enjoying this genuine connection with a kind guy, but don't want to overthink it.

While I was at funeral visitation for a family member a woman of about 50 walked in and said something to the widow. Widow screamed and ran out of the room. Helluva way to find out that one of the affairs your dead husband had produced a child.

I don't want to be with my boyfriend anymore. It's just too much.

He said I look forward to getting to know you more during a Live class. This guy's energy is magnetic, incredibly kind and heart-centered soul, and musical genius. He plays instruments, facilitates lively conversations, and encourages us to play/act silly. Those are qualities I want to develop within myself. I've been told I'm a great facilaitor, but I would like to be more musical and have more play in my life. It feels weird to say that I have a crush on a teacher from an app, but I think I do. He seems like a real genuine, kind and wise soul.

My first thought, too, because it happened to a friend this way. She told me how her H would come home from work and be all over the kids, but move away from her when she'd try to give him a kiss. He'd often not speak to her and they were no longer intimate. I told her it sounded like he was cheating, but she said she asked what was going on and he told her he was just stressed from work. Then she caught him in a HUGE lie and he admitted he was cheating and wanted a divorce :(