Posted by: anonymous
2017-01-25 22:46:53
ID: 44394
Your step-sister sounds just like us, only DH and I aren't planning to divorce. I realize things could get ugly at some point if it were to happen, but I have a solid family support system-places to go, ways to get an income, etc.Not everyone has that and I agree it is very wise to think of your future. I do plan to work again once my kids don't need daycare, being a SAHM is not my long term plan.
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Posted by: anonymous
2017-01-25 22:27:08
ID: 44392
In response to a confession. I wrote the confession this is a response to. I agree completely about not combining finances. I'm in the process of divorcing my exh and we had only joint accounts and it made for trouble our entire marriage. He also used it to fund a 6 month affair before leaving me. While I trust my boyfriend completely I won't ever open myself up to that again... I mean, I did trust my ex completely and look how that worked out. I know my boyfriend was joking though, he barely lets me buy my own lunch when we are together...he wouldn't let me pay for a vacation anywhere without big resistance.
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Posted by: anonymous
2017-01-25 20:51:56
ID: 44386
You can be a SAHM and still be OK financially. My step-sister went through a divorce about 2 years ago. The kids were both in elementary school. She has a college degree and had a solid career for 10 years before leaving the workforce when her oldest was born. She's in a community property state, so she knew she was entitled to half of everything. ALL accounts were in both of their names, investment, bank, credit card, college savings, etc. They had separate IRAs just because they could contribute more to them that way, but the amounts were equal. Because her name was on everything. She always knew how much was in them. When she was going to leave, she saved all the statements in case he decided to start pulling money out (courts would give half of what was in them before to her). She got half of everything (including the proceeds of the house) + child support. She was able to go back to work pretty easily, and her lifestyle is pretty much the same as before the divorce.
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Posted by: anonymous
2017-01-25 20:07:35
ID: 44385
I have been married for 15 years and my dh and I still have separate checking accounts, even at different banks. We never got around to opening a joint one. We've never had any issues or fights either. I have no idea how much money my dh has in his or vice versa. I know he would tell/show me if I asked but I never really cared. It may seem weird to some but it works for us!
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Posted by: anonymous
2017-01-25 18:27:53
ID: 44383
I definitely agree with financial independence as women. Very important. I say this, even though DH and I do share finances. But we don't let finances control us. He respects money and is responsible w/ it and doesn't have any baggage connected to money. If we ever separate, he's already said he'd give me alimony if i asked for it (which i won't). We have almost adult aged kids so child support won't be an issue. I'm pretty lucky though with him being so disconnected to money. But others aren't so lucky and it can be a problem. As we know by reading these money-problem posts.
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Posted by: anonymous
2017-01-25 04:39:23
ID: 44348
In response to a confession. Well, I wish he was different in this aspect. I know I can't tolerate this long-term. I already feel like I have to help him "take care" of stuff - he doesn't exactly ask, and I'm not mothering him, but jeez... Bummer to say good-bye. That's always hard, for me.
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Posted by: anonymous
2017-01-25 04:17:29
ID: 44344
In response to a confession. Do not share money with your bf. Keep everything separate and make sure you are always financially independent. If he starts showing signs of poor money management, leave him. Don't end up like all the women on here who are stuck with some asshole because of money. I know, everyone will say "its not that easy, what if she loooooves him!!!" They are full of shit. Financial freedom is more important than feelings. Have you ever heard a man say he was stuck with a woman because of money? No, probably not.
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Posted by: anonymous
2017-01-25 04:15:42
ID: 44358
I have been online dating for a bit now. It's really no better or no worse than meeting people out and about. But I hate when people use fake profile pictures or pictures of themselves that are 10 years old. I am up front about who I am and what I look like. I expect the same from others
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Posted by: anonymous
2017-01-24 02:01:55
ID: 44343
Due to some misinformation my bf thought that I'd be getting a $7,500 tax rebate for leasing my electric vehicle. He decided to tell me this by asking "where are we going?" And when I asked him what he meant he explained what one of our coworkers said about the rebate. I know he was just joking but it really rubbed me the wrong way. But then I feel bad about getting irritated because I know of the tables were flipped he wouldn't hesitate to spend it on me somehow. Not that it matters, the thing the guy was talking about was applied to the balances on our cars when we leased them...he just didn't pay attention when the salesman explained it to him. We've been together for about a year and are talking about moving in together this summer...gonna have to make some adjustments I guess
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Posted by: anonymous
2017-01-23 23:47:05
ID: 44338
In response to a confession. I think it is like most things - there are people who just have bad luck, but there are others who don't plan for the future and blame it on luck. My sister has had nothing but back luck. She became diabetic at age 40, and as a result has neuropathy and is in pain frequently. Its so bad she lost her job. And now she is having problems getting unemployment, and is about to be homeless. She has terrible luck. I am not diabetic, have no major illnesses, and have a good job. I absolutely feel lucky. On the other hand - we have both been told, around the same age, that we were becoming pre-diabetic and should do our best to change our diet and exercise. You guessed it, I did and she didn't. So I feel our actions laid the ground work of where we are now. But I think luck is in there too. She might have tried diet and exercise, and still become diabetic. Or I might still become diabetic, and end up where she is, just later in life. All we can do is try to be responsible, and hope it helps.
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