I think it has to do with a person's love language. Some people need words of affirmation. Nothing wrong with that. If your spouse knows you need something to feel loved, and refuses to do it, that's pretty dick-ish. I don't necessarily understand my husband's need to be told that I love him and think he's great, but he needs it, so I do it. Acts of service make me feel loved, so when he mows the lawn or does the dishes, he gets lucky, lol.

I also went through something similar with my DH. For me, it was him never being affectionate to me unless he was after sex. We did some stuff with tantric techniques and worked more on foreplay and that sort of thing. It really helped rekindle the spark. Turns out, we were just sort of going through the motions and we were just plain getting bored.

Smh at this bullshit.

If you already know you are sexy and desirable, its not your husbands job to make you feel ok about yourself. That comes from within.

In order to feel sexy and erotic, I need positive attention and feedback. I need to be told I'm sexy and desirable. I've told dh that many times. He will say you know I think you're sexy, that's why I want you all the time. Not the same thing. Men. Sigh.

I went through the same thing with my husband. Great relationship but no interest in sex with him even though my sex drive was still strong. After some soul searching I realized that for me, it was because deep down I resented that fact that I felt like he wasn’t helping with the household chores as much as I would’ve liked him to. This resentment made having sex with him the last thing I wanted to do. After I spoke to him about how I can’t be the sole person doing most of the housework he started helping out around the house more. I began to find him sexually appealing again. Maybe despite everything seeming great on the surface there’s something hidden gnawing on you on the inside about him or his behavior or your relationship that may be affecting your sex life? I’m not sure if this will help but this could be something you may want to explore.

Thanks for the advice. Op here. I still have plenty of sex drive, but I'm just not attracted to him in a sexual way. We do have sex regularly, I would never withhold it. I don't think he has any clue how I feel. I go through the motions and on the outside it looks like I'm enjoying myself, but on the inside I'm cringing and just want it to be over. I hate feeling like this.

My advice is to do whatever it takes to fix it. Talk with your OB/GYN or other doctor to rule out hormonal imbalance, and/or seek counseling. This situation isn't healthy for either of you and if it continues, I'm guessing you won't be living the rest of your life together. Unless, of course, he's okay with never having sex again. And a wall of anger will build up between the two of you. You, for having to have sex with him, and him, for knowing you don't want to. In all sincerity, good luck!

My dh and I have been married for 15 yrs. We are truly great friends, great co-parents etc but I hate having sex with him. I have to force myself. It's nothing he does wrong, I just cannot get turned on by him at all. Otherwise our life is great together. It sucks because how do you fix it? I just dont think of him like that. I don't want to leave him, but the thought of living the rest of my life like this is depressing. I'm in my late 30s.

The person who messaged me about the ex was already a Facebook friend. I replied with a request not to contact me again, and she said ex DH had asked her because we've been friends for years. I never thought to block him on FB, but now they're both blocked. Ain't got time for that!