My ex used to tell everyone how controlling I was. The truth is that I let him be himself, he could hang out with whoever whenever, I didn't care. I complained about him never cleaning anything, but I never demanded or forced him to clean. He spent whatever he wanted while I juggled what bills would be late. His current wife is controlling, she doesn't let him be on any loans or their mortgage, everything (including stuff he pays for) is in her name cuz if they divorce, she can take it all. (her words) He has to give her a certain amount every payday before he can spend freely. She wants him with her all the time, if he wants to hang out with friends, she invites herself. She makes the house rules, and he follows them. It just irks me that he acted like I was controlling when I wasn't, but now he's fine with someone who actually is controlling but doesn't think she is. She brags to me about how she controls him and laughs.